What did the chair say when someone sat on it? Nothing. The person's butt covered the chair's mouth.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? Because ever since 3 died, 7 had changed. He had turned aggressive and randomly snapped and hit out at some of the other numbers for no apparent reason.

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What do you call a handsome nerd? The name that is on his birth certificate.

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse replies "my wife died yesterday." the next day the bartender wakes up and realises that it didn't happen and that he is a drunk asshole with no life.

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where does a person with one leg work? anywere

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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Q: What is strange about Arabs? A: Very little.

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why am i a dick head. because my gcse's spelt fudge and i dont like fudge so i project my anger into boss things

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What's the difference between mustangs and dead babies I don't collect mustangs

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what's the best way to eat a dead baby? stewed into chili with jalepeno cheddar corn bread on the side

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a room? A: Depends on how hard you can throw.

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do you want my comeback? its in your mums mouth

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What do I smell like to you?? Crap.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Put my shoes on the wrong feet. Don't matter, i'm gunna die anyway.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Knock Knock.. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Daves dead. This is Darrell.

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My dog has no nose! Then how does he smell? Terrible!

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A spanish comedian walked into a bar. He was on time for his act.

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Me: Sometimes I like to talk to myself. Me: So do I.

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Why was the Pædophile arrested? He hit his wife.

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Yo Momma so old, that she has arthritis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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