Where did tommy go during the bomb? Everywhere. he was a cripple and couldnt make it to the bomb shelter.

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a 10 year old walks into a bar and orders a beer, he is then escorted out because you are not aloud to be under 21 one years old to be in a bar.

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Why did you visit antijoke.com? Because you don't find real jokes funny.

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what was the biggest game of hide and seek? World War II and the Jews won

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Whats the difference between a bottle of coke and a black man stuck in a phone booth? one of them is comparing himself to a bottle of coke, the other is a bottle of pepsi

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And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

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What did the black man, chinese man, and mexican man all have in common? They all happened to enjoy cantaloupe.

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Why did Princess Diana die? Because she deserved it!

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Why did the asian die? he was driving

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What did the transvestite say to the fox? 'scuse me, you've got something on your shoe.

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call of duty is how they say it, calla duty is how we say it...

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What do you call an Irish man with no legs? Handicapped

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Q. How are a bird and a turtle alike? A. They both fly. Except the turtle.

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Q: What do you give a woman with everything? Nothing. You own nothing to give.

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A man walks into a bar. Realizing that he left his keys in his car, he called a locksmith to unlock the doors. He did not have money to pay this locksmith and was put in prison for his large sums of debt. He was shanked by a fellow inmate and died a few days later in the prison's hospital ward.

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What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

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A creationist, an evolutionist, and Neanderthal Man walk into a bar. They order two beers and a glass of red wine. The bartender asks: "Will that be all?". The evolutionist says "Yes"

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Q: If Elvis was alive today, what would he crave the most? A: Brains. Moral: BRAAAAAAAAAAAINS!

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what is yellow with red all over tweety in a blender

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Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

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What do you say the big head boy? Brush yo teeth

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Kid: Hey,can i have all the answers to this test please. Teacher: What the hell kid im the fricken teacher.

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Women's Rights

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What did one Platypus say to the other Platypus? Nothing, Platypuses can't talk. However, they are the only mammal to lay eggs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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