What do you call a man who gets off the train at Willoughby? Dead

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Why did the Jew pick up the loose change on the ground?Because he has to use it for taxi money to get back home.

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What do call a black piano player? A pianist.

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Sam murray got home after school one day, he siad hello to his father and possibly played some Avatar on the D.S

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Why doesn't Susie have a bike? She has no arms. Who pushed Johnny off a cliff? Definitely not Susie.

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty four year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Have you heard of that new jewish car? No, have you? No.

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Knock knock Who's there? Labrinth Come in

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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They didn't stop pulling my hair i didn't stop pulling the trigger

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

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A man entered into a house, because it hadn't any door.

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what is worse the Holocaust or slavery? patantan!

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a man is bussy at work, when he gets called by his doctor. YOUR WIFE IS HAVING A BABY! the doctor yells. so the man runs to his car, drives home like a madman, and arrives home with his doctor holding the newborn in his arms. "congratulations" the doctor says "it's a boy" the man takes the baby in his arms and says: "but, this child is black!" his wife cheated on him and the familly breaks appart

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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Knock Knock! F*ck off

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What do you call a person who dies in march A dead person

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why did the girl fall of the swing someone threw a refrigerator at her

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W. If I was one thing other then a person why would I be? M. The sun. W. Aww, so I brighten your day? M. No, you're just hard to look at.

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What's worse than falling out of a tree and landing on a dog? Rape.

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Why did the black man fall asleep? because he was tired.

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What's worse than finding a band aid in your Crock-pot? Finding a Crock-pot in your band aid.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a human being of Aztec descent, while a bench is an inanimate object used most frequently as a place to sit.

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eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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