A mama cow was sitting in the barn with her 3 babies. The first baby cow goes "Mom, why did you name me Daisy?" "Because a Daisy landed on your head when you were born" The second calf goes "Mom, why did you name me Rose?" "Because a Rose petal landed on your head when you where born." The third calf says "Aasdfghoiuytfghjkuiy" The mom replies "Shut up brick"

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Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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what do you call an astrounaut in space? an astrounaut you racist bastard

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Q; Why did the gas station attendant scream when 3 black men walked into his store? A: It was his surprise birthday party.

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A Jew buys something that is not on sale

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so i was F***in this guy the other day with my penis.....shit! i mean i was F***in this girl and i jizzed

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Two members of the KKK walk into the bar into a bar. The bartender asks, "what do you think of Obama?" One of the KKK members says "he is my President, I respect him."

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your moms soooooo FAT that she went on a diet and became really sexy

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Why was the mom crying? Her son was found in the oven.

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There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

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What did the black man see when he looked in the mirror? His reflection.

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Q.Whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A. I don't were my cleats on my trampoline.

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How many Haitians does it take to change a lightbulb? Typically one, unless the light bulb referenced is in an inconvenient location or is over-sized / industrial grade.

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If Miley Cyrus has the ability to come in like a wrecking ball, how come she can't twerk?

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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Knock knock. whos their! Grammar police. We'd like to have a little chat.

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Q: What's very loud, has 60 wheels, and is covered in snow? A: A massive car pile up in January that was caused by a women being distracted while Texting. 7 people were killed.

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yo mamas so fat whenever she wears a pink bathing suit people say "look at that fat lady wearing a pink bathing suit!

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Remember when the new jokes on this sight actually used to be funny?

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Why do I hate food? I don't.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Murder his family.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I got pneumonia so now I am too

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What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

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A rat scurries into a bar. Six days later, all of the people in that bar die of bubonic plague.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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