Q: Why was the man upset? A: He was kidnapped. Two cruel men tied him to a chair in an unknown location. This man was mistaken for someone who was planning to steal a big drug shipment. They beat him unmerciful, shocked him, and hit him in the head with a hammer, and threw him out in the street, with the belief of his death occurring. A driver stopped to help the man into the nearby hospital. The man was questioned about the physical appearance and whereabouts of these criminals. He remembered nothing, and sadly, they got away with this horrible crime.

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why did the dentist quit his job because he had saved up enough money for his retirement

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Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Evolutionarily destined to be eaten by a predator such as a wolf or coyote, barring haing a defense mechanism that allows it to fend off such attacks.

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Knock Knock Who's there? (Pause) Who's there? Hello? Bloody kids

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Yo mama so fat that when she jumped into a pool she displaced more water than someone who was of a normal weight

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Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the retard's house *knock knock* who's there? the chicken

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It's okay, I got the yogurt.

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What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

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What's the difference between Jews and pizza? God likes pizza

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A man walks into a coffee shop and buys a bookshelf.

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What is 9 inches long, the same colour as my skin, and makes my girlfriend gag when I shove it down her throat? Her Miscarriage.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Q. What's white, has an orange bill, and looks like a swan? A. a swan

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What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

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I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

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1. Whats the difference between an orange? 2. Finish your sentence asshole.

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Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

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What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

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Q. you know who is so sad A. you for looking up a site for jokes that aren't even good

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what did the bot get for his birthday? .. men!

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Yo mama's so fat because her BMI is considered obese on the scale.

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roses are dead violets are gross guess what i'm in your closet

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you know what they say, Big man, Big hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, shame he died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops