What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

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There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

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-You know what will always get people fighting? -Hey, you wanna fight?

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Rishi is a funny guy, well he thinks he is. true story.

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A Jewish, Italian, and Russian man are stranded on an island. Eventually the Russian man dies from heatstroke, leaving the other two to decide whether or not to feast on his remains. The Italian eventually goes mad and tries to murder the Jewish man who is forced to defend himself and kill his remaining friend. Shortly after, the Jewish man is eventually rescued by a passing German vessel after suffering severe dehydration and malnourishment and hanging on only by his faith in God. As they are leading him to safety, the Jewish man eventually summons the strength to tell his saviors about the horrible things he has done and all he has gone through, not knowing if he'll ever be able to forgive himself. His German rescuers take one awkward look at him, and don't know what to say to help him, leading afterwards to several years of PTSD therapy and rehabilitation.

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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"is it just me or is it getting really hot in here?" "the house is on fire and we are locked in"

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Why did the kid give a bad presentation in class? He knew basically nothing about the topic, and on top of that had a large erection.

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What did the black guy, the Mexican guy, and the Chinese guy have for lunch? A sandwich

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A man walks into a bar with tears rolling down his cheeks. The bartender asks why are you so blue? The man says he has blue skin disorder and that everyone has been making fun of him...

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How do you fall off a building... JUMP.

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Why did the guy kill his friends? He didn't, he doesn't have any friends

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What's the difference between a fat man and a little boy? Despite the fact that they were dropped on two different cities, one was made out of uranium, the other was made out of plutonium.

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Cosmopolitan magazine releases an issue without any sex tips.

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? -getting raped by 10 very hung men who go balls deep

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Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

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What's worse than heartbreak? Getting run over by a steamroller.

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Jesus Christ walks into a bar and the bartender says "Holy crap it's Jesus!" and everyone quickly updates their Facebooks.

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What is the difference between a dead baby in a blender and a rock? There are many differences. One of them is the fact that I don't masturbate to a rock.

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Yo' momma so fat she buys clothingthat is bigger than most other people's clothing

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What did the man do when he saw the dog? Ran it over

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a teacher walked into a bar and when he walked out he went to his car and proceeded to take notes about the bible, not realising he's supposed to be writing notes from his English book... he's dyslexic and got punched in the eye while he was in the bar; did i mention he doesn't drink?

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Why did the black man eat lucky charms? Because it was breakfast time and he was hungry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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