ROSS G IS OBESE

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What did one wall say to the other? Walls don't talk.

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he is being treated in a mental institution and eats his own fecal matter.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? This year I'm going to win the golden brief case!

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If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

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How did the semen cross the road I put on the wrong sock this morning

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What's up with airplane food? Well I am a big fan of peanuts, so nothing

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It's valentines today! My girlfriend died.

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Knock knock Get off my porch.

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Why do Mexicans always have heart burn? Because the food is spicy.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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A woman walks out of the kitchen, she gets slapped by her sexist husband.

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Want to know whats funnier than 24? 25

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Q: What's grey and rocky? A: A grey rocking hair

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Girls get fucked Boys fuck Gays puke

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What do you call a man who's a gynecologist, painter and respected martial arts champion? Talented.

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"Roses are red, violets are blue," she explained to the color blind child, who was unable to understand the concept of color.

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Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Where is the bathroom, I need to go poo.

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A man with his masters degree, has a great job, and gets good money. Has a wife and kids. He is very successful.

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A duck flew calmly through the air and landed softly on a beautiful lake, where he was then shot for trespassing.

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Two Blondes walk into a bar. They each enjoy a refreshing drink before heading home to greet their family

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Where did Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Beating cancer. Guess Steve Jobs they didn't make an app for that.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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