How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootise pop? No, seriously, does anyone know?

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock The person you are seeking is deaf and cannot hear the sound that is made when your knuckles come in contact with the door. Try calling next time..........

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Why did the black man jump off the cliff? He was in a spiraling depression due to recently being laid off at work, his troubled home life, and the recent death of his sister.

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joe: guess what. Bob: what. Joe: nothing I just wanted to talk

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How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

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stuarts mum

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Q: Why was the mexican mowing the lawn? A: Because the grass was too tall

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I hate it when I press submit, and I forgot to finish the jo

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why did jimmy win the lottery? WAFFLE

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Tony Soprano walks into a diner

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What did the bus driver say to the black man? I like your shoes.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sally Sally who? Haha I'm just kidding, I'm Jorge.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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How do you leave a guy in suspense ...

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what do you get when you cross a red snugulo and a blue glurga? your on acid

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A man with a blue house wears a blue shirt and wears blue jeans. Someone from a red house with a red shirt knocks on his door. He is invited in because they are friends and both have a wonderful time.

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A man walks into a bar... and gets hurt.

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What did the chipmunk say to the nut? I'm gonna eat you.

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Joseph had been temporarily blinded for over a year. While blind, he saw the doctor who told him he would regain sight the next morning when he woke up. For this special moment, Joseph decided that the first thing he wanted to see was his wife. So, his wife decided to stay up all night so she was in the right position for when Joseph woke up. However, when Joseph woke up and opened his eyes his wife wasn't there so he was a little bit annoyed.

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What is Yellow and American? A yellow american

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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One time Chuck Norris cried. He felt slightly better after the experience, but, unfortunately, his grandmother still died of cancer.

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When life gives you lemons you get sugar and water and make some good lemonaide.

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Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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