Man 1: WHAT THE HELL?!?! Man 2: There is no verb in that sentence

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What do you say to a whore with two black guys? How much an hour?

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Why did the kid take the trash out to the movies? Because his mum said take out the trash

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The hippo's an African beast, Who notably is quite obese, Quite boorish and mean And never too lean And poops in the rivers, at least...

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xavier stop

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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An orphan walks into a bar. The bartender calls Child Protective Services and is given to a nice foster family.

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what do you get when you combine a vampire,werewolf,and whiny girlfriend ....... the worst show in the history of the earth

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

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Q: Knock, Knock A: To get to the other side.

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how many cookies did the fat kid eat? a perfectly reasonable amount of cookies.

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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Scenario - Two astronauts are kayaking down the Sahara dessert. Question - How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse? Answer - Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish

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What did the church say to the house? You need jesus

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

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whats white and sticky glue

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a jew, a muslim and a christian all walk into a bar; because of the difference in religion im afraid such an event is unlikely to occur in the future.

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What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

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Last year my wife ran away with my best friend. I really miss him.

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Sometimes people get confused when sentences don't end the way they elephant.

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Presidents are black Rappers are white Welcome to 2011

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How did Suzy die She choked on a Pick-Up Truck

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why did the the frog cross the road? because he was on the chickens back

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops