What did the doctor tell his patient? Unfortunately you have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the spider cross the road? He was stapled to the chickens back.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Your mother is so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and eat foods with nutritional value.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man made a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What does a girl get from a dead MAN:)?? Nothing he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, chocolate milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference bettween the holocaust and a bee, 6 million jews died during the holocaust. Bees make honey.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What did the paper say to the pen? Nothing, they are inanimate objects!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears, realizing that his life as he knew it is over, and recognizing the horrible burden he is about to become on his family, both financially and emotionally.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

knock knock. no one answered so the man at the door went home.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the pig have a band-aid? Because he had a whole in his foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

The dinosaurs aren't really extinct. Just kidding.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call two black men sitting on the porch? Craig and Smokey

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was black

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two peanuts were walking down the street. Well actually, they just rolled a bit and then stopped. Peanuts don't have legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do your friends and a tree have in common? They both die if you set them on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walks into a bar After months of rehab he is giving in to his drinking abuse again and will ruin his life as well as his family

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Joe Biden

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what happens when two small children jump into a pool full of pedophiles? They splash around and have fun

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: he was sucidal because his kids hate him and his wife cheated on him.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is better than a cat? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the boy trip off a cliff? because he was clumsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops