A man came home from work and said to his wife im going to kill u

How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

Knock knock Who's there? Banana? Knock knock Who's there? Banana Knock knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you glad you don't have cancer?

Micheal Jackson walks into a bar

This message is boring. There is no joke. There is no punchline. You can stop reading now.

A Finn, a Swede and A Norwegian went to an island. The Norwegian shot them all.

Q:What happens when you mix Justin Bieber with a women? A: Well, since is a very highly impossible circumstance, I have no need to give a name for this.

Women's Soccer.

Mary Lu was swinging on a swing * swush swush* and her mom was sweeping the porch when she sad Mary Lu go get that big fat shiny quarter on that road then Mary Lu say how about you get your self that big fat shiny quarter.! Her mom drop the broom in discussed and walkout into the road and was bout to bend down when swush a bus runs her over And Mary Lu just laughed and laughed she knew that wasn't a big fat shiny quarter it was a nickel!!!!

How do you keep a woman from driving your car? Shoot her.

Yo mammas so fat she wears big clothes!

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

It’s dead.

Ross Tumilty is gay 8===D

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm color blind.

How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Good friends enjoying a summer activity.

so...um, yeah

Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

What do you get a when you cross a chocolate bar and some haribo? A disease complex characterized by persistent hyperglycemia caused by insufficient insulin production or resistance to the metabolic action of insulin. Diabetes mellitus (DM) is generally classified as insulin-dependent (IDDM, type I), non-insulin-dependent (NIDDM, type II), or secondary diabetes mellitus

Why do girls wear perfume? Because they smell and they're ugly

Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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