I went to the doctor & he gave only 6 months to live. I told him I couldn't pay my bill, he said "that doesn't change the fact you're going to die soon."

What do you call a boy with no arms? Names.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the road was clear of oncoming traffic.

Go online. why? To get a quote. why? To save money. Because we said so! Parenting can be hard. see how easy it is to save with GEICO.

How did the man want his hair cut? In silence.

A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender serves the duck the beer. Later, the bartender wonders to himself when his life got so out of control.

What's the difference between a Jew that is half Jewish and a Jew that is fully Jewish? 1/2

I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexic. Fcuk!

Why didnt john feel like fis n chips? he had a bus stuck up his ars

So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

Want to here a joke? The First Amendment.

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A scholarship to a prestigious college that he did not deserve.

Why didn't the pro-choice, pregnant woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

(for comedians) I went to a coffee shop the other day. I ordered a coffee then sat down. Behind me there were two people talking. I didn't eves drop because it's impolite so I drank my coffee and left.

What did the customer say to the waiter when he found a fly in his soup? Sorry to bother you on your break, but why didn't I get a fly in MY soup?

2 muffins are in the oven. After about 15 minutes, they both died.

Knock knock. Who's there? To get the other side!

say it ten times fast: oh

What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

What do you call two mexican's jumping the border? people with a hard life trying to get to the new world.

What did the Norwegian say to the Englisman? ØLølølølÅæåøåæøåæåæåæåæåæåæåæå

Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

roes are red violets are blue we have nothing in common so baby were through

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...