Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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Sorry boss

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What does the funeral director say at a jewish funeral? Ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes...

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What sounds really bad? An accordion.

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Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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what did the guy do at the funeral? cry because his wife died

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Nothing. Animals are not capable of speaking.

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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A man walked into a store and asked if he could use the restroom. They found this acceptable and let him use it.

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Q:Why did Santa, the tooth fairy, and a rich man jump out of a plane? A: On Christmas Eve, a rich man was skydiving and lost his tooth as he plummeted towards the beautiful plateau.

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Who paved the road? The fat guy with the steam roller

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Why did the Iraqi airline crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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What happened the magic tractor? It turned into the feild!

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i went to the bar. soon after i entered the bar i got kicked out. why? becuase i'm seventeen.

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What's brown and sticky? a stick

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

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What happened to the cat How should I know it's not my cat

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What has eight wheels and cost more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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An elephant walks into a bar. It was so big that it broke a lot of things.

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i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

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Q) 1+1=? A) 6.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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