"Do you have Prince Albert in a can?" "No." "Good. Tobacco causes cancer."

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Julian Ha.

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Why did Jack take a prune out for the evening? A healthy snack as part of a balanced diet.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not doing your Webtime on a Friday!!

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What did the black guy say to the slave driver. Nothing, slavery no longer exists.

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How did the old man keep the kids off his lawn? By molesting their Moms.

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An Indian man left a 20% tip after eating at the closest restaurant to him

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Q: What do you call a black person that flies planes? A: A pilot you racist

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What's the difference between Lady Gaga and the Bogeyman? Nothing.

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how to name your chinese kid. throw a spoon dow the stairs

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H2O." The second one then says "I'll have some H2O too." Both chemists live as no bartender is irresponsible enough to serve liquid hydrogen peroxide in a public bar.

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Why did the young man have a young woman do cart wheels when he was in his tree house watching her do them on the ground? Who knows?He never shared his feelings.

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Q: Why do so many of these anti jokes contain refrigerators? A: Seriously I don't know why

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Why did the hot blonde strip down? So she can take a shower

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Hello.

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Walk in to a room and sing "if you're deaf and you know it, clap your hands!"

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A racist indian (from india) walks into a bar (in india). A catholic priest walks into the same bar. The bar says 'moo'. The bar is a shape-shifting cow.

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What's worse than a School Bus accident? The Holocaust.

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What's the difference between a Porche and a Pile of dead babies? I don't have a Porche in my garage.

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Your mommas so poor she can't afford food for her child. Thats you.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Who's the best player in Madden 07 on the PS2? Michael Vick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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