Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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My dog barks when someones at the door.

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What the did the man say to his boss? You are my boss.

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what do an elephant and a mouse have in common? nothing

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What's the same about a crouton and a pencil case? Both are used for dirty things, such as shoe tying.

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hickory dickory dock no one cares

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Peter was sitting on a bench. He had a bag of 10 sweets and was eating them slowly. John and Anthony both wanted some, but Peter wanted to still have sweets left over. How many did he give them both? None. He's that selfish.

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Two farmers are standing in a field. One says: "It's a bit cold today, don't you think?" The other doesn't reply, because he is trying to work out how to tell the first farmer that his son has just been killed in a road accident.

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Roses are c0ck violets are vag this joke is for george i like it like that<3xxxx

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple ? Joseph Fritzl.

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Two scientists are working in a lab. The first one asks, "Do you want some sodium?" The second one pours acid into the first one's eyes.

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What's the difference between a whale and an elephant

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Is that a gun? Or are you forcing your boner into my back? Or is it something completely different that shares the physical characteristics of guns and boners?

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? She had no Arms or legs Knock knock Whos there? Not Sally XD XD XD XD XD XD XD

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I have suicidal thoughts

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Knock Knock I'm sorry but the new don't ask don't tell laws require me to not answer but do feel free to come in for some tea.

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A frog, duck, monkey and beaver each enter a bar being carried by a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. If your wondering, the redhead carried two animals.

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why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

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Knock knock.Who's there?Dead Baby.

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Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

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Two gay men walked into a bar in a bigoted, small-minded town and were beaten to death with shoes.

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What do you get if you put a lepper in front of a fan A mess

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I cat tried to jump over a fence It was electrified

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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