What's funny about using a shake weight? It resembles masturbating with a penis.

Knock Knock. To get to the other side.

What do you call someone who's black? A person you asshole.

What did the man do after he took a bite of his pie? Chew. After that? Swallow. Then? Repeat.

What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

Why did the rabbit fall out of the tree? because it was dead Why did the bird fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the rabbit

What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

If you die, and have 5 cents in your pocket, does the toast still land jelly side down?

How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

Micheal jackson had half a pie, Fred had the other half of the pie, They both shared a pie.

I had an Anti-joke but i forgot it.

KNOCK! KNOCK! Who is it? Wood pecker. Wood pecker who? KNOCK! KNOCK!

What did my Grandmother get for Christmas? Alzheimer's.

Q: what's better than ice cream A: not having aids

whats big and green, andif it falls from a tree , it can kill you? a golfcourse

Your momma's so fat she has diabetes and my have to get one of her legs amputated. It's actually quite sad.

How do you get a Virginia graduate off of your porch? Pay him for the pizza

A stoner walks into a bar. A few minutes later he is asked to leave by the bartender because he is disruptive and uncoordinated. The stoner leaves because conflict is not in his nature.

How do you make a cripple cry Cut of his legs, THEN telll him a joke

Yo mom so fat that even Torres won't miss her

Why did the chicken cross the road? Maybe because it had escaped from the farm and as it doesn't have full conciousness, it couldn't distinguish between grass and the asphalt, so it happened to cross the road.

How do you fit 4 homosexuals onto a barstool? You make the barstool wider allowing for all the men to sit more comfortably on top of the stool.

Q: How do you make a black man think you're racist? A: Racism

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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