How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +103

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Bob.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you kill a blonde? you shoot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

how do you get a cat out of a tree? -call the fire department

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what did the blond do when her house was on fire? she called the fire department, because that would be the correct thing to do in such a situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you get when you cross an African-American, a bird, and ice cream? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A: What do you call a Jew with only one arm on Christmas? B: An amputee.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a child with a peg leg, and eye patch, and no hand? Names

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Sometimes black people kill other black people.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Sorry boss

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What did the one legged girl do when her apartment caught on fire? She tried to hop to safety, but died of smoke inhalation.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

why did the couple sell their house? their children were all raped and then murdered in it and they cant stand the memories

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did John get hard? He froze to death

thumb_up thumb_down +29

7+5=12

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do Michael Jackson and your family have in common? They're both dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a cow that went through a earth quake? A dead cow.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats brown and smells bad poo

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did annie fall of the swing? she had no arms.. knock knock who's there? not annie.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

You can lead a horse to water, and you can pick your friends, but you can't sneeze with your eyes open.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops