How are you this morning?

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Why did the blond get fired from the M&M factory? Repeated absences and stealing.

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Please save our environment :) Dont use electricity. Use gas! Like Hitler.

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What's black and blue and hates anal? The twelve year old in my trunk

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? He'd lost so much weight, due to AIDS.

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why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick!

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Thanks I guess, I do look a lot like that anime, except my eyes are not giant and I got lips and you know about everything else is different, besides I wear blue or brown contact lenses Ohh, and in case you had not already noticed, I dye my hair brown, believe me, there is enough red in me to go around already... Nero huh? Angelo Nero? So what kind of sick parents did you really have, or do you have? This is weird, you suddenly got even more interesting Nero.

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Does this napkin chloroform?

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What does a Chinese girl get for Christmas? New parents...

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Tried to type an ascii of a penis, failed

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender New Doritos Dip

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Q: How did the robber steal a laptop from best buy? A: With his hands

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Whatever you do in life, give 100%… unless you’re giving blood.

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your mother is so fat that her doctor advised her to stick to a strict diet and exercise routine to help her lose weight

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How do you describe a funny man on stilts? Stand up comedy

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You: Ask me if I like lasagna. Them: Do you like lasagna? You: No.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender served him a beer and said "why the long face?", to which the horse replied "neigh". The bartender was later fired for incompetence and serving beer to a horse.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Jason. Jason wh-(death sound when being cut by chainsaw)

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus is? Trying not to laugh.

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How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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