What did one penguin say to the other Nothing, penguins don't talk.

How do you cure AIDS? You can't.

how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

Sticks and stones can break my bones Well maybe you shouldn't play in the tree anymore

A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

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Your mother is so dumb, that she had a very poor ACT composite score.

An asian man walks into a bar He buys a drink.

What's the difference between a Mexican and a picnic table? The average picnic table can support a family of four, while a Mexican person, depending on his or her career, can support families that include over four people.

Why is Osama Bin Laden scared of the dark? To be honest, I don't know, and I doubt you do either. Osama Bin Laden has been a fugitive on America's Top Ten Most Wanted list for over 10 years; there is no way that you could possibly know such personal information about him if the United States government can't even locate him and prosecute him for the heinous crimes he committed against the U.S. Don't ever lie to me again.

- Knock, knock. - Who's there? - Immigration.

Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

if youre reading this its probably because youre on anti-joke.com

daughter: Mum why do I have a brother mum: He not your real brother dont worry your adopted :) daughter: :'(

what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

Q: Why is it so that antijokes often give you a funny answer? A:.... *hayroll* *crickets* Moral: Im the MoranautBitch!

Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

What's red and round? A red and round solid.

Why are ther so many black people in the NBA? Because culturally Basketball is a very popular sport among a lot of African Americans, thus providing a lot of African Amercans to play Basketball professionally

Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if your father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

What did the Mexican get for christmas? Nothing, he was caught sneaking over the border in November.

Guess what else smells like tuna!?! A dead tuna fish in a can

What did the baby with Downs syndrome say to the baby with cancer? Nothing, baby's can't talk

what did the Alaskan homeless man get for Christmas? Death

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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