Why did the fireman wear suspenders? To keep his pants up.

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What is a life without options.... an optionless life

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When life gives you lemons... you probably just found lemons...

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How many Jews can you fit in the car? 4 in the seats and 6 million in the ashtray.

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Why did the Chinese family eat a dog? Because they were poor and starving refugees.

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What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm going to murder you Did you look behind you?

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2 big black men walked up to me with baseball bats. they politely asked me if i wanted to join their friendly game of baseball

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what long hard and in a tight hole? a penis in a vagina

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Q: What did the terrorist do when he walked into the football stadium? A: Set off a bomb, killing him and others there

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Did you hear about the human cannonball who lost his job? Circus attendance is on the decline, as people are spending less money on entertainment, due to a slow economy and poor consumer confidence. Because the circus owners paid him under the table, he did not qualify for unemployment and was force to take a job at Hardies. He has a drinking problem and suffers from depression.

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Jamie Oliver eats a chip

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your limbs scliced off with a chainsaw and being put in a cage to get mauled by a Mutant Man-eating horse.

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What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

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A: Knock, knock. B:Who's there? A: It's your neighbor, Sam. B: Oh, well my extended family is over for dinner at the moment. Would you mind coming back later? A: I suppose that would be alright.

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What's worse then ten dead babies in a barrel? The one at the bottom is still alive.

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Q: What does a giraffe say to the other giraffes? A: Nothing, giraffes do not have vocal cords and are therefore unable to make any sounds, much less speak; not to mention a giraffes brain is far to underdeveloped to talk in a spoken language.

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What smells bad and is black, A very dirty dead decomposing body.

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how do you crash a party? You dont because that would be rude.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? George. George who? Oh sorry, I thought this was number 52. my mistake.

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A bold man said "well, here goes nothing!" Moments later, thats what happened

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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