Yeah, and speaking about spiderman, I got some weird senses, when I get stressed things begin seeming slower, and gets a weird blur effect, not sure what it is, but if you know what "bullet hell video games are" Technically games where you play as a tiny spaceship and lots of bullets fly around, I was always awesome at those games as a kid, because the more stress I felt while playing, the slower my perception of time felt.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face? the skeleton replies I have aids.

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What do you call an elephant and a rhino mixed? Ahellifiknow.

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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Duh!!!."

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Q. Whats black and rhymes with Snoop? A. Dr Dre

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What did Aladin say to Mulan? Nothing. Although they are both Disney characters, they never appear in the same film, and therefore never communicate.

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Your mother is so black...because she recently suffered a horrible accident with fire and has irreparable skin damage.

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Why did the man mysteriously disappear? Because he was hiding without telling anyone that he was hiding.

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What is more dangerous than heroine? T.J. Lane

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every 60 seconds in africa a minute passes

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What did Steven Hawking say to God after he died? Nothing. He can't talk.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had to arms. Knock knock Who's there? Well clearly not Sally

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How are trees and friends alike? They are both subject to fall when struck with an axe.

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Women's rights.

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? Because his parents are dead.

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What did Jay Z say to his long lost friends? Allow me to reintroduce myself, my names Jay - Z

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If you give a homeless man a fish he eats for the night, if you teach him to fish then he probably won't be able to feed himself anyway, he is too poor to afford a pole.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try to go to heaven because his girlfriend Margaret was cooked into chicken sandwhiches, and he had no kids and he didn't want to marry someone else, so he tried to get ran over but no cars hit him so he cooked himself. AND so he became KFC-Style chicken wings. BUUUT since no one ate them, he grabbed them up from heaven and commented on how delicious he was and proceeded to eat more and then exploded, sending him to heaven's heaven. But it was just a dream. And Margaret had to do laundry some more today because he freaking caused a urine tsunami. You're welcome.

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Joke- Blah Blah Blah, punch line -LOL -Shut the hell up

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My wife told me that I should see things from a woman's point of view. So I looked out the kitchen window.

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How do you know that a woman is having an orgasm? They go like OH YAH OH YAH:D

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What's the difference between babies and butter? You can't pitchfork butter.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense..............

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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