What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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Yo mama's so poor that she's living in poverty.

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Roses are red, I want a gravestone, nobody loves me, forever alone

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What's Tammie short for? Diabetes claimed both her legs.

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a child and his father were on a bike ride the child tried to cross a street but was run over by a truck. His father now lives homeless and griefs his dead son.

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Have you ever tried grabbing a bottle of 7-up free and walked away with it? Moral: If it says its free, its free ffs!

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around? A kitten in a blender

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How do you get a girls number? Grow some balls and ask for it.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing set? Because she had no arms.

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How do you get pikachu on a bus? Rape his wife and point a gun to his head and tell him that he'd better get on the damn bus before you shoot him. Btw sorry if I just double posted. I am on an iPad at school.

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who is still together after all the crap they have been through? your butt cheeks

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Why did the burglar get arrested? For beating an egg

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why didn't Lebron James give me a fourth quarter?...he forgot his wallet at home and didn't have any spare change.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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<=-):[ J1MMY | Dubstep Maniacs Crew 4 Life ]:(-=>

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A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

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Yeah I was beginning to enjoy that as well, but I used "timed hypnosis" I have not seen it been coined elsewhere yet, not that I learn hypnosis anymore, I kinda teach it covertly to whoever I believe can use it responsively. "Timed hypnosis" is not really based upon a set amount of time after all time is relative, and our subconcious does know that and the subconcius understands that we did not invent time just because we made some fucking dials spin around" Now, timed hypnosis is based on a purpose, for example: "I will go into a trance until I am done teaching my new buddy how covert hypnosis works and teach her to use it subconciously" But now I made you aware of that, so you can use it consciously as well, the real magic here is that the subconcious is so much more efficient and powerful than the conscious mind that it would not even be neccesary to have a concious mind, except for one thing.

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What did the cake say to the icing? Come here

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Knock Knock! Whos There? Interupting black lady! Interupti. MMMMHHHHMMMM!!!!

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<3 ... it looks more like scissors than a heart...

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There is a black guy a white guy and a Mexican, whose driving. The other black guy.

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What do you call a unicorn without a horn? A horse.

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whats red that looks like ketchup taste like ketchup and is't tomato sorce? ketchup

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I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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