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Yo momma's so old, she lives in a nursing home and is on various medications that she needs to take to stay in optimum health.

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Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

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For anti-joke.com, there should be a section called "Hot" that shows new jokes which are given 5 thumbs up or up. This way we would get new jokes on the popular section instead of having the same ones for a very long time. I know this isn't a joke, but thumbs up if you agree.

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A girl talks to here boyfriend about collage. What is his responce? Nothing. No one talks about college.

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

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Want to hear the best joke? Your life :,( i think i hate you?

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: You tell her an anti joke

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Suicide.

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God made rivers God made lakes God made you We all make misstakes

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What do you call a nun who is just walking around? A Roman Catholic

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Why did the surfer surf in the ocean without a surfboard? Either he was mentally challenged, simply dreaming, a fish, or most likely did not have a surfboard.

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Q-why did the dog run away? A-he was Michael vick's dog

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Why did the boy get hit by a car? Because he didn't look both ways

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? They were my friends.

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Whats the difference between chad woldert and justin beiber? Nothing

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What is white, sticky, and something that gay people and women love? Frosting.

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Why did Mark get paralyzed? Because he was a famed football player that went drafted for the 1st pick but was later hit so hard that his spine com pulsed and tore

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whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

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What sound does a baby make in a blender? Idk, i was too busy masturbating to hear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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