What's the Green Lantern's favorite holiday? Hannukah

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My friends new nickname is hawk-eye! He is a jackass...

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A bear walks into a bar, and says "I would like a pint of..........beer." The bar tender asked "why the long pause?" The bear replies "I think I just had a stroke."

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What does the name Joe mean? Joe Mama! Egit

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what did God say on the 7th day? -zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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How do you get a black man to run? Ask him how his day has been, catch up on some memories of your time at school together, then challenge him to a foot race.

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I’m on the new Seefood Diet… I can only eat Fish or shell fish

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What do 2 arabs say to each other in a super-market? For those of you who don't know your history, the true Lebanese are Phonecians. As such, they are not Ishmaelites/Arabs. They are from the house of Jaffeth. the youngest of Noah's sons. Arabs are from the house of Shem (i.e., Shemites/Semites), the oldest of Noah's sons, and Hamm, Noah's middle son who fathered Cannah with his mother. Haggar, the woman with whom Abraham fathered Ishmael, was a Cannonite. As such, Ishmael, the father of the Arabs, is half Semetic and half Hammetic. The true Lebanese are neither. Furthermore, the first non-Jewish Christian church was established with the Gentiles (the children of Jaffeth) in Lebanon. And then the shop blew up.

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Larchmont Park is the biggest shithole in the european union - Only the jippo part tho, lots of flies live in that part <3

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootise pop? No, seriously, does anyone know?

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What did the army guy say when he lost his gun. Wheres my gun.

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your mom is so ugly that she was made fun of in highschool so much that she now has social issues and a fear of close relationships which is why she left you and your father at age 5

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How do Mexicans have sex? They get in bed, and the man puts his dick in his partner's vagina.

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Titanic with will smith. Girl: I wont ever let go of you. Leo: Drowns. Smith: Move your fat ass over girl, there is like room for me and fifthy kids there yo! Me: Bitch if you need to float on a piece of wood where six of us could fit, im gonna drown you.

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"i see", said the blind man ... ...to his deaf wife... ...while his crippled children jumped for joy....

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Wow did you see stevie wonder's new house. neither has he

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender goes why do you have a cane? The man goes "I'm blind."

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Why do black people have white hands? Palms and soles are not in direct sunlight, and therefore less amounts of melanin are produced in those regions.

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

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Why did the doctor commit suicide? His wife was recently killed in a car accident and simply could not take the emotional pain!

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What did the tree say to himself? Gee-oma-tree( get it geometry say it outloud)

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Q: How much does it cost to have 50cent and Nickleback perform together? A: 45 cents, because its 50 cents, and you get a nickle back

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What's the deal with brown?

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What's dried up and smells like potatoes? Potato ships and school french fries.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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