whats worse then being married to your dog eating your dog out

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

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"hey do you know the date" "58"

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Why did Hitler cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways. Only after practicing proper safety procedure did he venture across the busy thoroughfare to retrieve his asthma medication from his car.

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shirt and blue, i call this one snow white, to score and seven years a jo, six samurai kageki, coral, 50 piece, specific frame, whats with that one, amy, hoption, smell my butt, smell my balls, smell my fart, smell my poop, urgay

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What do you get when you cut a stick of butter? a butt.

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Q:What's red and hurts your teeth? A:A brick

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whats red, brown and blown up? a hampster in a microwave

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A woman went for a midnight jog. She's been missing for 12 years now.

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I am not Moral Man. Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUU

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Why'd I have sex with your mom? I'm your father and I love your mother very much

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where was Billy during the bomb? Every where

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? They were my friends.

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Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

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boy and girl are flipping a coin, coin lands on heads, boy: get down bitch

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Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

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I was approached the other day by an officer as he asked... "Son where are your parents?" I replied, "I dont know i'm an orphan" The officer then laughed and walked away

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What's the difference between a woman and a car? A woman is merely a useful object, whereas a car deserves love, care, and respect.

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A man in a restaurant says "Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter apologizes and offers to comp the meal.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first moneky.. Why did the 3rd monkey fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game.. Why did the 4th monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure..

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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If life gives you lemons, squeeze it in life' s eyes.

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Burp

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Why did the black man leave the bar? Someone shot his girlfriend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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