A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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OMG YOU BOUGHT ME FLOWERS THANK YOU

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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The King stands next to a pole. The King goes away, the pole stays there.

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How do you get rid of Herpes? You can't.

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knock knock who's there? Andrew Oh hey Andrew come on in!

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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kid: can i go to the bathroom? teacher: you have to say the alphabet first. kid: ugh. fine. a.b.c.d.e.f.g.h.i.j.k.l.m.n.o.q.r.s.t.u.v.w.x.y.z teacher: what happened to the p? the kid bows his head in shame sits back down as the entire class laughs at him.

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ROSES ARE RED VILOTS ARE BLUE I HOPE YOU KNOW IM A JEW

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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whats the difference between an orange and a bicycle? One has handlebars..the other one doesnt.

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how do u keep a stupid person in suspense? how

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Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

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What's long, black, and sticky? Licorice.

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How does it change many dyslexics take to a lightbulb.

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I wrote a joke for 'Anti-Joke', I laughed, it was funny.

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Is the capitol of Michigan pronounced DEE-troit or de-TROIT? It's pronounced Lansing.

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what is worse than a joke? an anti-joke.

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Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

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what's faster than a snail? Usain Bolt

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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What's worse than knowing you have Hepititis C? Not knowing.

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What did the girl with no eyes say? I can not see.

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What do you get if you cross a banana, a mango, and an apple? A smoothie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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