Q: Whats the difference between nude pics and your mom? A: I can wackk off to nude pics

I like my women like I like my coffee, I don't like coffee.

What did the whale say when he ran into a wall? - Oh Shit

What do people in Asia do for black history month? Nothing, black history month is an American thing.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Last night I had a lovely chicken burger I had no mayo left so had to make do with coleslaw but enjoyed it anyway.

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

Why did the joke feel paranoid? Because everyone kept laughing at him.

Santa and a smart blonde jump of a cliff. Who gets to the ground first? Neither, they don't exist.

Why did little Suzy fall of the Swing? Someone threw a fridge at her.

how do you make a homosexual man have sex with a woman? shit in her vagina

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you simply have a chicken joke WITHOUT it crossing the road

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my life didn't start, until I met you! :) Megan _____

How do you confuse an idiot? By confusing an idiot.

Knock knock. Who's there? Open the fucking door. Open it! This is a fucking robbery. This is not a fucking joke. Get down on the ground. Shut that baby up. Shut that fucking baby up! Now! Get on the fucking ground or I swear to Christ I will fucking end your life. Tell the kids to go to their room. Do it. Do it, you fucking bitch! Where's the fucking jewelry? You got any money stashed anywhere? Come on, I know it's here. Keys? Your husband got any guns? Give me everything valuable or I swear to god, I will fucking murder you in front of your son. The woman was brutally raped for hours.

Why did the small child fall down the stairs? Because he had lung cancer was in a wheel chair and I was incredibly tempted to push him down the stairs.

what do you call 10 dead babys lunch

Why did the woman stop running? She was an escaped convict that had been on the run for twelve years and the police had finally found the place where she was hidding. Upon arriving at her house she started to open fire on the three police cars, hit two cops and killed one more. The two are fine and are going through physical therapy as they were both hit in the spine and have a difficult time performing the smallest task. The one was one called billy. Billy had died in the hospital after asking if they had got her. He died believing a lie. They never got her. She is still on the run, I lied about her stopping.

Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

What is Soulja Boy's favorite letter? I don't know. You go ask him.

Why couldn't the Canadian taste the maple syrup? Because someone cut off his tongue. -BLLJ

Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

A black man walks into a predominantly white bar and is laughed at hysterically, the man is a world class comedian.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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