Knock Knock. Who's there *gun shot*

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Women's rights

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A chicken crosses the road... Gets fined for jaywalking.

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But I like being mean and angry! Nevermind, 158 according to Mensa`s standard bullshit test (my wife got 160, I remember we argued a lot over it because I kept insisting they would not use the same predictable pattern again... I overestimated them wildly I can make more advanced stuff than they can, and in no way do I consider myself "The worlds elite required to ensue the future survival and salvation of mankind`s finest and fittest" those fucking arrogant suckers,,,) Below average in any test including American presidents and historical events. Aaand about 450 in any bullshit online test which then offers you "more accurate tests" which cost money and probably destroys the fake confidence any idiot buying such a test in the first place might have built up,

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Ask me if I'm a human! - Are you a human? No. The correct term would be a human being.

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A girl and her family were walking by a cliff. Suddenly - due to a a part of the cliff falling away - her family fell over the edge and died. The girl ran to the bottom of the cliff and saw her family's body's strewn across the rocks, blood everywhere. She didn't have a phone on her and so could not call the police. She called over a man she saw in the distance. He asked "What's happened?". Just managing to stammer the words through her tears she said "My entire family fell off a cliff and died". The man unzipped his trousers and said "This really isn't your day is it love?"

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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1

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A man walked up to a fork in the road. He bent down, picked it up, and continued on his journey.

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A child finally stood up to the school bullies! Recently the news did a story about a school shooting.

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A black man and a mexican jump of a building to see who hits the ground first. Who wins? Society.

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A man agreed with a camel. The camel didn't agree. ... (This joke does only make sense in the Dutch language.)

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Why did the plane crash? Because, it's pilot was a bagel.

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whats worse than getting raped by your mom getrting raped by a giant scorpian

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What did Billy get for christmas? Nothing he died of lung cancer.

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What did the black man say to the man from Kyrgyzstan? I've never heard of your country before.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Repeated jokes.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartendor says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife was just diagnosed with cancer and given only a week to live."

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What do you call Batman and Robin after they are run over by a steam roller? Dead

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what happens every day? People die

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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Why did the man get a DUI? Because he was driving under the influence.

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Have you seen Stevie wonder's new mansion? No..... Either has he

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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