What did the mexican firefighter name his kids? Jose and Pablo

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EVOLUTION OF MODERN SAYINGS 1 The Samurai: If at first you don't succeed, kill yourself. The British: If at first you don't succeed, give up The Americans: If at first you don't succeed, sue someone, then try again in hopes of a larger payout next time

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God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

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Do you know whats funny? No do you know i was asking a question

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Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

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What's worse than molding bread? Babies in the toaster.

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A brown park bench was bought. After multiple years the color had faded, and the bench was no longer the same shade of brown.

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stuff and dogs {()}

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You know what likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.

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Q.why did the monkey fall out the tree? A. it was dead Q. why did the second monkey fall out the tree? A. it was hanging onto the first one Q. why did the third monkey fall out the tree? A. peer pressure

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Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

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Hehe 9/11 Funny Stuff If you know what I mean!!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

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Hello world

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose body parts were all adequate and thus could not perform any odd sexual acts upon himself.

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What do airplanes and grapes have in common? They both have wings, except a grape doesn't.

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Y- You O- are L- such a O- Loser

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you were observing it, thus changing its quantum state and making it decide to cross.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts What's worse than two holocausts? Twilight

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A duck walks into a bar, guess what the bartender does............ GIVES HIM A SEAT AND 6 FREE SHOTS! But instead of that the bartender promptly escort the duck out considering the fact that in all bars there is a no animal and/or pet policy so the duck went... and commitid a series of loud noises before he got to a hotel and hung itself, that is what any depressed hungover duck would do.

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How many babies can you breast feed? 2

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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