How do you get girls to watch a crappy movie? Tell them Taylor Lautner is in it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

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columbus laid an egg. he was very proud of it, but the other dudes ate it.

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What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? not your cheese, you probably stole it.

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Have you heard the one about the Priest, the Pastor, and the Mail Man? -no, how's that go? Oh you haven't? That's too bad, it's really good.

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Hey i just raped you and this is crazy so delete my number and keep the baby

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what did the woman say when her husband punched her? nothing. she was physically abused for 35 years before she killed herself

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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Why couldn't little Jeffy find his way to gumdrop palace? Because he was shot

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Two guys walk into a bar. This is really exciting as they haven't seen each other for two years and are looking forward to catching up.

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How do you kill a jew? Same way you would anyone

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Compton

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What did Lindsay Lohan wear to her birthday dinner? -An Orange jumpsuit.

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Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

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Why did Anti-Joke.com close down? It didn't. If your reading this, the site is fully operational and up to date with your system.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is embarrassed but realises it has nothing to do with his dyslexia.

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A man walks into a bar. He is now passed out on the ground. (TD)

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What type of vision does an Asian person have? 0-0 because he is blind

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Why do Christians believe in God? They made him up

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2 penguins in a tub. one looks to the other an says, "pass the bar of soap." the other looks at him.."what do you think i am, a typewriter?"

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why did the man beat his wife because he was mean

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whats thin, long and hard? A: a pen is

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What did the convicted necrophiliac pedophile do when he found a dead baby? He reported it to the authorities because despite his past habits and behaviour, and after years of rehabilitation he became a responsible and considerate citizen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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