Knock, knock -Who's there? Help -Help who? Im dying of lukemia

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Q: how do you crush a Chinese man's dreams? A: tell him he is worthless and will never prosper.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How did the blonde girl get pregnant? Sperm enters their vagina and fertilizes an egg cell causing a child to be conceived.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Hey i just raped you and this is crazy so delete my number and keep the baby

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Roses are red Violets are blue And so avatars And so is blue paint

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Your mom is so old so will die soon.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Man 1: Not to be gay or anything, but I really like your shirt, it looks nice on you. Man 2: Not to be gay or anything, but I like men.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Ice cream doesn't have bones!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

5 Italian guys from Long Island

thumb_up thumb_down

What's funny? Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why'd the girl fall of her scooter? She fell into a hole and died. She was never found again. All that was left was her scooter.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A ginger was with his friends

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What did the one legged homeless person get for christmass? A: Frostbite.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

Why did the cow say moo? Because all cows say moo

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A traveler gets a flat tire on an old farm road. He goes to the door of the neasrest farm and knocks. The farmer and his beautiful 21 year old daughter answer the door. Traveler: "I'm sorry, but I have a flat. Is there any place I can stay until I get it repaired?" Farmer: "Why yes. Our church sponsors a homeless shelter and rehab center down the road.I can give you a ride there if you like?"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

who looks like justin bieber and is really cool? george darling but i lied about him being cool.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man orders 3,687 bricks. He gets 3,688 bricks delivered to him. He throws the extra brick in the air. Ok, so a man is smoking a cigar by a woman with a small poodle. They are both in a plane. The woman asks the man if he could get rid of the cigar because the smoke is making her dog turn green. The man refuses. In anger, she throws the cigar out of the window. The man gets angry and throws the poodle out the window. What lands in the poodles mouth when it's falling? The brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red, violets are blue, I told you she was my Mom, but that didn't stop you!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call somebody who can't walk? Handicapped

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red, violets are blue my neighbor is black he will jump you too

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops