Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? A:Pull the pin and throw it back

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Billy fall off his bike? He tried to kill himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

There was a man who had a camel, but one day he lost his camel. He wanted to go and look for it but he couldnt because he had to go to work. So the next morning he went to look for his camel. He went over the road and saw a gate, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate and saw a forest, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest and saw a hill,but he couldnt go down the hill because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill and saw a river,but he couldnt go over the river because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river and saw a house, but he couldnt go to the house because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house and saw a door, but he couldnt knock on the door because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, and saw a man, but he couldnt speak to the man because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", but the man couldnt respond because he had to go to work The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", and the man said, "no"

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Roses are rose, violets are violet, that's just a fact, I've got aspergers.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

one day four teenage boys started doing drugs. They jumped off a cliff and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a blonde doctor? Doctor

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: knock knock who is there A;dunno go check

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a blonde prostitute your bitch

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the worst part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheel chair.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your mom is so stupid that she didn't get into college due to her low act score of 16. She feels the need to improve so she asked me to tutor her.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: Why can't Carl drive? A: Carl is a stone

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worse than cancer? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q : Who is the most famous celebrity, Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber? A : Neither, because they are just fads.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did Thomas Jefferson's children call him? Grandpa

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats worse than death? Living in Agonising pain for the rest of the life that happens to be reading this statement.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what happens during a climax apples

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Whats the difference between a black guy and a bucket of crap? One is alive meanwhile the other is an object full of solid waste.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

so today i took a poop. hehe

thumb_up thumb_down -25

child labor

thumb_up thumb_down +2

roses are red violets are blue i am bipolar so am i

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why was the bartender's baby crying upstairs? Because it was being raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q:where did the little kid go? A:wait, before or after i killed him

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? because he was hungry and mcdonalds was across the street

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops