Women's Professional _________

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Guy1:should I ask this girl out? Guy2:NO!!!!!!! Guy1:????????

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What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

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What happens when a Republican accidentally walks into a Gay/Straight Alliance meeting? The man asks if he is in the right place. He apologizes and then leaves.

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Why did the man tell the child to get into the van? They were late for a field trip.

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Why is Helen Keller Blind and Deaf? Because she can't drive!... oh no wait I screwed that up.

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Q: "What did the blueberry say to the cheesecake?" A: "I'm not your friend anymore!"

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Why did the priest blow a kiss and waved to the little girl? She was his daughter. Why did the daughter's mother call the cops on the priest? Child support

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why did the boy run down the road? Because he was being chased by a tsunami

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A Man Walks into a Bar with a Dog. He is blind, and is promptly guided to his seat by other patrons.

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Roses are Red, Violets are not blue they are violet, nothing rhymes with this, I give up

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What do you call a joke without a punchline?

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I was jaywalking when it hit me. You know, a car.

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Listen pretty lady, NO WHAT WE HAVE BEEN DOING FOR LIKE SIXTEEN HOURS OR SOMETHING NON STOP STRAIGHT, IS VERBOTEN! Honestly, for me its a bit of a requirement, sure girls can go all like "But you are like friendzoned to me now", but then I... Hmm, you know, not a womanizer,my wife has the right word for it, I am a seducer.... Suddenly I do not like the sound of that, actually Its not a bit of a requirement, it is TOTALLY a requirement. Say, does it bother you when I mention my wife like at randomness?

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What did the president say after his wife and kids left Him? Im Obama self now

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A dead guy walks into a grave.

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What did John look at when Meghan Fox took off her shirt? her undershirt

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coast of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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What do you call a blue bucket? A blue bucket. What do you call a red bucket? A blue bucket in disguise.

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Did the owl ever reach the middle of the tootsie pop? Yes. Dreams do come true

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what did the elephant step on when he was running through the jungle? .... a coke machine.

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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what did the mushroom say to the other mushroom? nothing, mushrooms can't talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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