What's black, white, and red all over? A intro of darkness, then redness then whiteness

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What's black and has the texture of tar? Molasses

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if i could change the alphabet, i wouldn't its perfectly fine the way it is.

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What's black and white and red all over? A car in which some young hoodlum appears to have splashed a fair amount of red paint over the owner's otherwise charming checker pattern.

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Q: what did the suicide bomber say after the attack? A:

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Mcfly: Doc! i have to tell you about the future! Doc: Ok.

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Q: How do you make a cat bark? A: Douse it in gasoline and throw it in a fire.........WOOF!!!!

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you want to hear a joke? the goverment.

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What did the Asian say after he had a nightmare? Nothing his nightmare was actually reality and a dishwasher fell on him and killed him.

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What's faster than a Jew running after a penny? A car.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're daughter has terminal cancer.

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What's the difference between a bagpipe and an onion? No one cries when you cut up a bagpipe. Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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What is stupid and looks like you? You.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Whats worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It tried to to commit suicide.

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What's worse than finding Michael V. in your class? Finding Curtis W. in there instead\

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A man walks into a bar and at the bar he sees this guy with a blue head. He asks the man with the blue head if he can buy him a drink. The man with the blue head says "sure... you want to know about the blue head don't you?" "Yes i do" "Okay it all starts with a genie, he gave me 3 wishes, the first wish was to have a beautiful wife and a house to put her in, the second wish was for a ton of money, and the third wish was for a blue head."

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face!

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What do they call Chinese food in China? Food

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How many baby can u fit in a cup? A: it depends how strong ur blender is How do you get them out? A: tortilla chips

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What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops