Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

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The man was so gay he grew breasts and got breast cancer.

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"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

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When life hands me beef, I make lemon stew.

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what did the dog say to the mailman? woof.

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What time is it when an elephant jumps over your fence? Actually, elephants don't jump.

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I've been hearing a lot of Jew jokes lately, Anne Frankly I'm sick off it.

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this kid named terry was sitting in computer class then he got punched in the face

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I road a horse to school. My friend stabbed it with a Javelin and screamed.... The horse was his Dad

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Panda walks into a restaurant with gun ready to eat, shoot and leave to finish a really good grammar joke, but before he can eat, Animal Control tranquilize him and seize his gun. So all he can do is leave unconscious. Meanwhile someone takes enjoyment in slowly burning the dictionary entry for "Panda".

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Q: What did the forgetful person say to the other? A:

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What's worse than public speaking? Public masterbation. *Spelled it wrong purposly to bypass the filter*

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the WNBA

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey was a dead. Don't you dare laugh. Asshole.

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AJ enjoyed his trip to Pen Island

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In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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what are three words that are never used together in the same sentence ...... salid taste good

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Q: What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? A: An horse

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why does stuart own alot of hollister because he is autistic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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