What is smelly and sticky A poo

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the butler say to the guest while his master is in the bathroom? Butler: "Sir, will you wait while the Master bathes?" Guest: "How long will he be, I'm quite busy!" Butler: "He shouldn't be long sir, he should be finishing up now."

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A tree falls in the woods. A deaf boy, who had been frolicking through the forest, is struck down by the tree. He dies. His parents are ridden with grief for years, until finally the father commits suicide. The mother soon remarried and had two more children. Both died before the age of 15. She was a horrible mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the tree fall? I cut it.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

So a Jewish, Hispanic, and Asian man are on a plane. The pilot turns to them and says "aren't you tired of this?"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A woman fell victim to nasty car accident. Her injuries were very grave. The doctors warned her family that she had two hours to live. She died two hours later.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red Violets are red Daisies are red Tulips are red Magnolias are red Weeds are red Carnations are red Crap, my gardens on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A Hindu, a Jew and a Muslim walk into a bar. They then proceed to brutally murder each other due to their strong religious differences.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

When u send someone fudge, u must send a note along with it! Roses are red Violets are blue Fudge is brown Here's some fudge

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your Momma is so fat when she pressed "up" on the elevator it went crashing down.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have herpes. If I were you I would get tested.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red violets are next thing you know my D*** is in you

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why'd Sam run away Because charlie bit his finger

thumb_up thumb_down +13

how many dead babies can fit in a microwave? 3 1/2

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Fred used to only visit his parents in the hospitals on weekends, because that was his only free time. Now his parents are dead and he has more free time.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man walks into a crowded bar and orders a beer. The bartender doesn't hear him due to the background noise of everyone talking and the man has to repeat his order.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Jesus was born and rased a jew

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the nerd cross the road?? BAZINGA!!!! xD

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops