Yo mammals so stupid, she's got AIDS!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's 1+1 2, dumbass...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did Charlie do when he lost his golden ticket? He killed his grandpa to get it back.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A woman goes to the hospital to receive an ultra-sound after taking a pregnancy test a few weeks before. The doctor comes out and says "Congratulations Susanne would you like to know the results? Susanne says "No thank you." Then, the doctor says "Good, because its actually a retarded baby that we found."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call 3 horses in 1 boat, in the middle of the Dead Sea? Lost

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he hast to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever but he gets the flowers. Next he heads to get a limo, unfortunately there is a long limo line at the rental office and it takes a long time but he gets the job done. Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and are having a good time. When the song is over she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

"Doctor, Doctor! I feel like I'm a dinner roll!" Yes, well that's a side effect of your brain cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Garry Glitters on here

thumb_up thumb_down +16

knock knock, whos there? the bum bum boys ready to dance :) ``~ ``sms

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What was the leg less and armless mans favorite type of music? Nubstep

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Knock-knock. Who's there? Me.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock knock! Who's there? Girl scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the bartender say to selena gomez? Your hot.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the tomato say to the ketchup? Nothing both vegetables and condiments are inanimate objects, therefore cannot speak

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did Darth Vader say when he spilled his drink? Darth Vader is a fictional character and is not a part of humanity.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the student say to the teacher, after being assigned homework? This isn't my best subject, can I stay after class for tutoring?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A mama cow was sitting in the barn with her 3 babies. The first baby cow goes "Mom, why did you name me Daisy?" "Because a Daisy landed on your head when you were born" The second calf goes "Mom, why did you name me Rose?" "Because a Rose petal landed on your head when you where born." The third calf says "Aasdfghoiuytfghjkuiy" The mom replies "Shut up brick"

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Why did the girl call suicide hotline? Cuz he wanted to kill herself.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

WELL YOU ARE ALL A ROOF. So pie, my dearest Adam. Like a butthole.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the dog hairless? I lied, it was a pig.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There is something fishy about.... the fish curry at home

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops