Why did our black president put a porch swing on the white house? He likes to swing.

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What did the pig say to the banana? Oink.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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How do you kill a blonde ? Shoot her in the head

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Your mom.

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A jew walks into a bar He receives a phone call and promptly leaves

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I like my women how I like my salad. Without a penis.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS

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Why is the child screaming? Because he just woke up from a bad dream.

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Why was the blonde so stupid? She suffers a severe case of retardation.

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Why didn't the door open? Because it was locked

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Why doesn't the Athiest wear socks? He has a minor fungal condition on his feet.

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There was once a boy named Swan, But then they built Autobahn.

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There was a man with a job and kids. One day he came home from his job and went to sleep. He never woke up because it turns out he had a heart attack.

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What's the best thing about twenty six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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why is rebecca black? because it's friday.

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What did the fly say to the frog? Nothing, insects can't talk.

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Q. How do you get a dinosaur off a slide? A. You tell him he hasn't lived for billions of years.

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my friend got in a car wreck,he lost his left arm and left leg. how is he now? Hes all right.

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how did they guy with no legs in the wheel chair walk? he couldnt because he had no legs.

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A girl cries as she drops a box of uncooked spaghetti noodles, spilling and breaking them onto the floor. She has brittle bone disease.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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