Q: How do you fit a giraffe inside a refrigerator? A: You can't, it is physically impossible...

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boy and girl are flipping a coin, coin lands on heads, boy: get down bitch

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Carlos was attempting to write anti-jokes. He sucks at writing anti-jokes.

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What's worse than having but sex and finding out you have aids? Knowing that the person you had sex with was dead

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What does a black man do when drives up to a STOP sign? Stops.

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what's gray, red, and goes over a 100 mph? a toad in a blender

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How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

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Why couldn't the Chinese man drive? Because he didn't have his driver's license yet.

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A man walked into a metal bar, they were playing Metallica.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper with some red stuff on it.

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What happenswhen a geman shepard jumps into a lake? it gets wet

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Q: Do you know what you can make when you have enough cents? A: Dollars

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Q: why did the cookie go to the doctor??? A: because he was sick

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What do you call a hairless penis, whatever gay name you decided to nickname it

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What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

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What is the black mans favorite color? -Time for you to get a watch

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What did the scientist call a spider? An arachnid.

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My captcha thing says "hulk smash" lol bahahahahahahaha, k

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If you are stranded on a deserted island would you eat your hand or the 5 star meal you butter prepared? -Matt

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Knock knock whos there? Its me, your doorbell is obviously broken Okay, hold on a sec. Please hurry up, its really cold I cant seem to find my key Its probably on the coffeetable, where you always keep it. No, its not there Check the floor underneith Oh, right, there it is.

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How many electricians does it take to fix a light bulb? One

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What has 8 legs and makes women scream? .....Gang rape.

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What's black and white and nailed to the floor? A skunk that's nailed to the floor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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