McDonald. It's run by Lawers

*Brother comes downstairs wet and naked* Mom: Did you enjoy your shower?

How did the little boy die? A speeding moving truck took a sharp turn, the locks on the doors broke open and a huge office desk flew out and crushed the boy.

Why did my ex-husband get fired from the m&m factory? He was throwing away all the W's.

A homeless man walks into a house He is invited to a lovely lunch and then beaten to death

Three jews walked into a bar I lied, it was a gas chamber

Your friend is so retarded I am getting a bit worried and his mother should take him to get tested for mental retardation.

In Soviet Russia, man doesn't walk to the bar. The bar walks to the man!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others dont

Yo mama so fat, she most likely wont live to 40

Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

What did the man get from killing his own wife and children? A boner.

What is less sanitary than eating food off of the ground? Anal sex.

What's black and white and red all over? A bloody zebra.

How do you make your friends more positive ? Infect them with HIV.

My mother got hammered last night. We cried at her funeral.

How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

A man said to his friend that he looks like his mom died. the other man started to cry due to the fact that it was acctually his dad

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

You know what they say about women with really big feet? They actually don't say anything.

why did the cow jump over the moon because it was on a high dose of lsd

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

How do you get a one-armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

Why do Jews have big noses? Because it is genetic.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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