A polar bear and a seal are sitting on an ice floe. The polar bear looks at the seal and says, "RAWRRRRRRRRRGGG" and then kills and eats him.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why does Michael J. Fox have a good handshake? He has a firm grip

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Conner Schmidt's fiance has the fattest ass in the world <3

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What did the atheist say to the jew. Well first they had a long discussion about religion and the jew was actually made an atheist. Truly the work of God.

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What did one potato say to the other. Let's get baked!( hope u dont mind that this isnt a anti-joke well i dont know what it is so sue me)

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Anti-Joke is a silver bullet.

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A bad decision because soccer is in their blood

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Why does it take more than one blond to replace a light bulb? Because one had no arms, thus requiring the help of another person. It just so happened that that other person was a blond.

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Hey! Have you ever heard of the Alzheimers joke?

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Why was the baseball player happy? He got married.

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A squirrel is about to steal the eggs of a sparrow when the sparrow suddenly says, "Stop! I will do anything if you would spare my eggs!" The squirrel has no capacity to reason and so steals the eggs anyway. The sparrow is devastated.

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Why Is Helen Keller such a bad driver? Because she is a woman

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The song Friday Rules!

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What did your Little brother get for Christmas? Lice.

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Why didn't the black man eat a packet of crisps? Because he didn't have any.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Daddy drinks, Because you cry.

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Roses are dead Violets are dead Im a bad gardener

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Asians are ugly and they look they have down syndrome.

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Chuck Norris has a chin under his beard.

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What happens when Brittany Spears is hungry? She goes to taco bell for food

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Sorry we dont serve time travlers here. A man walks into a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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