What did the cowboy say to the alien? Nothing, this is a dream. Wake up.

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Hey, you have small hands.

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Knock Knock And then I looked through the peephole and I saw it was the handyman that was going to fix my leaky sink so I opened the door

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Whats the difference between a fire hydrant and the color green? They're both green. Except the fire hydrant.

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What do you call a person who hammers a nail into his forehead? A dumbass.

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What's up? Well it all depends on your current position, if you are in the center of the Earth then everything would be up. In space there is no gravity so nothing is up. If you don't understand this the sky is up.

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How did the little boy survive war? He respawned at his teams side of the map

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What did the farmer say when he couldnt find his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexic. Fcuk!

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If you see a fat man, what do you say to him? Hopefully nothing mean, seeing as that would be demoralizing to the fat man.

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im not black, im Joseph Kony

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. And that's when I found out my Uncle Ted was a cross-dresser.

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What did the man say to hitler? hi hitler.

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knock knock who's there bang bang bang bang who where da cash at

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where did little suzie go during 9/11 EVERYWHERE...

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Q: What's the Difference between Judaism and Catholicism? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

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Your mums a potato

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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You have never had sex because.... Well, look in the mirror and you'll see for yourself -Matt

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Why is Santa fat? Because the apples are red.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

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Nero, I understand, what I thought was correct, was to teach people to understand those exact words that you are conveying. Its not that, I am afraid of showing the world the man that I am. But rather that I am not a man, I admire your vision, and tried to follow it, as we got much in, common, I can think as an individual and still admire your work. But you know how society is built, if too many find out I am a woman, then that not only reveals that I have been lying to them, which I have, but also that well, women are not exactly seen as equals, I know I never was, all people ever saw in me was "a great pair of tits".

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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Whats green and fuzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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