say this really fast D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I CK, D I C K IF YOU CANT LIKE IT

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a man and a woman are standing at a bar. they have a few drinks and then go home and die.

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Why does Eric Clapton use a Mac? Because he prefers Macs.

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An airplane crashes into a state park. There are no survivors. Susan continues her stroll in the park, considering she is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair, she isn't aware of the nearby disturbance

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A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

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What's the difference between a rock and a baby? You can't have sex with the rock.

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What do elephants and grapes have in common? They are both purple arpart from the elephant, which is grey. I lied about it being purple

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What did one bunny rabbit say to the other bunny rabbit? I'm a bunny rabbit!

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"I never want to see you again!" shouted Stevie Wonder to the genie in the bottle, as a young boy.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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A Matthew walks into a room. Everyone left. This is not a joke

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Why did hitler cause the holocaust? YOLO

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How do you kill a blue elephant? How? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? How? You hold it's nose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a orange elephant? How? You can't, they don't exist. How do you kill a white elephant? How? You tickle it till it turns pink, then you hold it's noose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Why won't Santa be delivering presents this year? Because he can't be bothered.

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Q: A blonde walks into a bar. What does she get? A: An icepack.

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Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Perpresher

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How do you know that a woman is having an orgasm? They go like OH YAH OH YAH:D

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What do the holocaust and 9/11 have in common? They were both terrible tragedies that people will look back upon in sadness for years.

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Why was David sad? Because he got his head stuck in a window.

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Why was the African american pulled over in New Jersey? He was 17 and didn't have his red stickers.

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How do u make a hockey player cry You Kill his entire family

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Q: What's worse than finding a shrimp platter on a babys hand. A: A baby's hand on a shrimp platter

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42

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Q. How do you make your dog stop barking? A. Take it to the grocery store. Replace it with any popsicle in the fridge.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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