why do women wear perfume and make-up? 'cause they're ugly and smell bad

How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

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A little boy walks up to his father and asks him a question, "Daddy, how are babies born?" His father then replies in an enthusiastic manner, "You see, I stuck my dick in your mom's vag and started pounding. Apparently two condoms defeat the purpose."

from south park what do u call a jew on a rope no one ever said the answer, so my answer is a jew on a rope.

Why don't women wear watches? In the technological age we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

Are those two people having sex? Yes, I think they are.

I'm gay. No homo.

How many beavers can you fit in one paddling pool? None; it's probably very dangerous trying

What happened when Dave tried to break the record for most marshmallows in the mouth at once? He choked and died.

News:Little boy found dead in old man's white van. Turns out the old man goes to the store and when he comes back the little boy chokes on an apple.

What's more fun than thumbing down a shit joke? Thumbing down a shit joke which is neutral previous to your disliking giving it a little negative number.

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To hold their pants up.

How did the car get a dent? Terrorists bombed the house next to it

A turkey and a ham walk into a room. The ham says to the turkey "You're a turkey." The turkey in response says, "Yeah, well you're a ham!" They both then get their heads chopped off, as the room they were in was a slaughterhouse.

What did the Frog say to the other Frog? Nothing they can't speak

Your mama's teeth are so yellow, she decided to invest in a teeth whitening procedure and begin a healthier dental hygiene regimen.

What's the best way to look 10 pounds thinner? Lose 10 pounds

Why was Shane cool... Because he was a cool bean.

What do you call an African American on the moon? An astronaut

Knock knock I'M IN THE BATHROOM !!

What comes after 69... Mouthwash

Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because he did

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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