Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nematode's. A Nematode is a type of round worm that lives under water, and while most are carnivorous, some feed on vegetation, such as pineapples.

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What did the little boy say when he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

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"And i look to myself what the hell happened to our world..."

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Do u know where the glue is? nope, i just glued my hand to this table, so im no help to u

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What do you have if you have a green ball in your right hand and a green ball in your left hand? Two green balls.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravitational force acted upon the monkey who was not holding on to any branch.

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Why did the boy drop his Ice cream? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him.

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The Pittsburgh Pirates

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Nathaniel Nugnes walks into a bra

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why did sally fall off a swing she had no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it's a grape and therefore unable to speak.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Spanish Inquisition.

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Math Problem: John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

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hey its jerry hey its dj want to see my goat noooo

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What do you call a black man that works with out pay? A volunteer

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? With the technology of compact fluorescent light bulbs they don't go out for much longer, so the question is nearly irrelevant.

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a korean man with no legs sits on a porch. He has no legs so it's considered standing

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"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

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Why did the tissue dance? Because it had a boggie

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What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the little boy? May God be with you.

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Why could the woman cook for her family? She didn't have one she was anti-social

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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