What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheelchair

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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What's the difference between a freezer and a baby? A freezer doesn't scream when I pack my meat into it.

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Why did the black guy walk into the supermarket and buy 100 bananas? Because he works at the zoo you racist!

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Why was the boy stuck? He's under a tree.

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Gotta go Fast Gotta go Faster Faster Fasterfasterfaster! Moving at the speed of sound I'm the quickest hedgehog around Got ourselves a situation Start getting a new location Without any explanation On top of relaxation! Go- Go- Go- Don't blink Don't think Just Go go go go G-g-g-g-go go! Sonic, he's on the run Sonic, he's number one Sonic, he's coming next so watch out for Sonic X! Gotta go fast, gotta go faster faster faster fasterfasterfaster Go go go go go go go go go! Sooooniiiiic X!!

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Your momma is so fat that she is on a diet and exercises regularly.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

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Q: Whats The Difference between Batman and Blackman? A: One can go to a store without Robbing it...

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A dead guy walks into a grave.

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You: I have a question Person: Yes You: Do you have an answer?

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the chicken crossed the road. the chicken was then caught by animal control because it was in the middle of a city.

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John: Knock Knock! Bill: Who's there John: John Bill: Oh hey John, come in

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What do you call someone who states the obvious? Someone who states the obvious.

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A priest walks into a bakers and asks for a loaf of bread , the baker asks "white or brown" the priest replies "it does not matter Sir I have my bike outside".

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Why did the boy fall off his skateboard before running into a cross-section? Because he was shot.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Jason. Jason who? The person who is answering the door hears a chainsaw start up and suddenly realizes that Jason is the murderer from Friday the Thirteenth. The person goes and gets their shotgun, ready to blast Jason's head of when he breaks in.

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In Soviet Russia..... the exact same thing happens, stupid.

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Why didn't the girl take her hairbrush to school? She has cancer and all her hair fell out.

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Hey i heard You were a wierd kid ooooooooooalskdfjaslkdfj

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Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you set her alarm for the intended time

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well you should really try some.

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what did the boy with no arms get for easter? a cane.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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