What's the difference between a black guy and a bench. A bench is wooden while a black guy has a human body composed of mostly water.

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Friends are just like trees. They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Q. What happened to the man that kept an open hand? A. He is in jail because he beat his family

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irish man drinking john smiths

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GIRLS that think they can out-drink MEN.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? Lick his dog's penis.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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A plane full of atheists, with one Christian, crashes into a field over Ohio. Everybody but the Christian dies upon impact. Amazed, a news reporter on the scene of the crash, asks the man, "How did you suvive this tragic event?" "I had a parachute." Responds the man.

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Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and is incapable of going to down stairs without aid.

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Why was the boy sad? Because He had a frog stapled to his face

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whats 2+2? 4

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How did Sarah Offet win? He had no arms. Knock, knock? Whose there? Not Sarah Offet

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A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are trapped on a desert island. As they investigate the island to find food and shelter they find a magic lamp. Together they rub the lamp and sure enough a genie appears and tells them he will grant each of them a single wish. The brunette goes first and wishes to be back home. The genie claps his hands and she appears in her house, where her husband and children are waiting for her. She is happy that her ordeal is behind her and to see her loved ones. The redhead goes next and also wishes to be back home. The genie claps his hands and she appears in her house. She is not married and has no kids, but she has 2 cats. She is happy to be through her ordeal and to see her beloved pets. The blonde went last and also wished to be sent home. The genie clapped his hands and she appeared back in her house. She wasn't married, and had no kids or pets, but she was still happy that her ordeal was over.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cook Pu. Ok then. Kelvin Yang.

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If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

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How do you make a professional wrestler cry? You could stab him repeatedly with a box cutter and demand his social security number, but I wouldn't suggest it. He would most likely beat you up.

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what happened to the asian who failed his math quiz... his parents killed him

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What happened when the man was about to hug the sexiest person he ever saw in his life? He hit the mirror.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The Holocaust.

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If I were in a room with you, Hitler, Stalin, and Palin, and I had a gun with 3 bullets in it, I would drop that gun and run as fast as I could from that room. Sorry, I hate you!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Plants are green because of the high levels of mitochondria in their cells.

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What is terrible and doesn't exist? This joke's punchline,

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I have a gun. Get in the car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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