what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

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knock knock who's there? the paperboy the paperboy who? i lied, i'm a serial rapist, you should have looked through the peephole

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How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

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What do you call a black priest who's name is John? Father John

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Q:What did the homeless guy say to the business man on the cell phone A: Nothing because he doesn't want to disturb his phone call

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Whats the difference imbetween a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer an the other is a watermelon

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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Why did the Jewish population diminish in the '40s? Showers and Ovens

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Your maternal figure contains so many Triglycerides, her belt size is greater than or equal to the circumference of the Earth.

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Why didn't Timmy have a girlfriend ??? Because he's a Fruit bowl !

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Why was Sally crying? Because she had a frog stapled to her face.

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A black man walks into a bar in an all white neighborhood. He has a couple of drinks, pays for them, and politely calls a taxi for a ride home.

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Why wasn't the dog obedient? Because it was dead.

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What did the blind, deaf, mute child get for Christmas? Leukemia

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a man walks into a bad part of town he is shot 13 times and dies.

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What's worse than the holocaust? The sun exploding.

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Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

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how many baby's does it take to clean paint your house red. depends on the quality of the crusher.

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink.

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Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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How did the bald lady die? Of cancer

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Knock knock Who's there? Fuk Fuk who?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having a giant, angry ape on steroids rip your heart out and eat it before your eyes as you painfully die from the unbearable pain and rapid blood loss.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Blanket Blanket who? Blanket, son of deceased recording artist Michael Jackson. Ever since his father died there has been so much stress in the family that he could not handle it. He ran away and is now seeking shelter and grief council.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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