I bit a horses leg. Why? Because I thought i was a vampire. I also bit my sisters glodfish in half.. Why? Cause I wanted revenge on my sister.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you make a clown happy then sad? You give him pot then shoot him in the foot

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are having a baby. Even Stevie Wonder saw that one coming.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a muslim? A terrorist

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the sleepy man say to his wife? I'm sleepy.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What is the difference between a joke, and an antijoke? A joke is actually funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -110

What's the difference between a Watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer, the other is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why couldn't Jim pogo-stick? He didn't have one.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are red Violets are blue You're a whore

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are Red Violets are Blue It is Valentines Day So I had to get them for you or we would get into a big fight, which will end up with me on the couch.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A woman who owns a parrot leaves her home, forgetting that a plumber is scheduled to come fix her sink. A few minutes after she leaves, the plumber arrives and knocks on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waits for a minute and, seeing that nobody has come to the door, knocks again. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, a little more loudly, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink!" The plumber waits for a minute and bangs hard on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screams, "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIINK!!!" Just then, the plumber clutches his chest and falls dead to the ground. When the woman returns home, she sees the dead man in front of her door. She opens her door to go to her phone and asks the parrot, "who is it?" The parrot replies, "WHO IS IT?"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I'd like to make a withdraw

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you know when an elephant is in your refrigerator Theres printson the cheese cakes

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops