What happened to the chicken when it crossed the road? Nothing because the cars that almost hit it swerved off the road.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs sitting on a doorstep? Whatever his name happens to be

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What do you call a guy who can't get a girlfriend? Me.

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Who was at the door when Helen Keller answered? She doesn't know

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Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

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What do an owl and a squirrel have in common? They can both fly! Except for the squirrel.

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Knock knock! Yes?

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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Reminding you of your religion. The army led by God attacked their foes at the mountains, yet had to flee because the enemy had plated steel wagons. Moral: Either God cant beat steel, or he was not there at all, its your call gents, because reading Ave Maria 50 times each time you sin, without reading the whole thing, does not even make you a Christian you FUCK (yes I can curse, you cannot)

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What did Stephen Hawking say to the prostitute? A several garbled and mostly inaudible comment that she could not understand.

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Q:Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? A:He slipped and fell. Q2:Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2:He was stapled to the first monkey. Q3:Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3:Peer pressure.

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My asian freind died recently... But on another note why did the chicken cross the road.Crosing the road is a metaphor for killing yourself and the chicken is my asian freind.

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Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall A : It depends on how hard you throw

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Oh hey is your dad good at golf? No, he's not really good at anything except lying.

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What kinds of children go to heaven dead ones

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What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

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Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? I lost my tractor!

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What did the mexican say to the black guy? He asked if he needed some drugs. Why? He was a pharmacist.

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69

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A hermaphrodite walks into a bakery, orders an eclair, then leaves.

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There was a man on a park bench and he saw a duck fly by so he decided to go and see what it was up to. He saw that it was just going for a swim in a near by pond. He died 2 years ago of auto erotic asphyxiation because of a common fetish.

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Knock Knock Who's there Bannana O He lives next door

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Me: Hello. You: Oh, hi. Me: How are you today? You: I'm fat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops