if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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What do you call a pig that just took a bath? Clean!

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How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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I just painted my nails. I have braces.

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One penguin says to another penguin, "It looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other penguin says, "Yea, I have to go to dinner party later."

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How are friends like bananas? If you peel off their skin and eat them, they die.

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What is black and blue and really is not in the mood for sex? The new girl at the women's shelter.

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A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

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What's worse than seeing another antijoke with "The Holocaust" punchline repeated? The Holocaust.

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What's purple and smells like crap? Crap. I lied about the purple

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What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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Gregory: Hey, aren't you that pretty girl I saw from the party? Jenny: Huh? Gregory: No wait, it can't be you. Because you are WAY prettier. Jenny: Aw, that's so sweet, lemme give you my phone number. Gregory: Okay I'm ready to copy Jenny: It's 1-800-get-a-life-loser Gregory: Biitch

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whats worse than a paper cut? getting your head chopped off

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Wii.

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A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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Yo momma so stupid she tried drowning a gold fish. She got accused for animal cruelty.

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A man walks into a bar, looks around, and reveals an AK-47 assault rifle he had been concealing beneath his trenchcoat. He then turns to his left and fires repeated shots around the bar, to the surprise and fear of many. Then he shoots himself. The death total is estimated at 9, including the shooter, while the total injured is around 22.

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You wake, and up for a second you are dazed. Then you open your eyes slowly because you are afraid of what is to come. You then remember oh right I had a sleepover at john smith's house.

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Christopher Reeve walks into a bar.

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What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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why did the teacher say that the student did well in class? because the student did well in class

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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