What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, walls are inanimate things therefore it cannot talk.

There are 2 women at a bus stop. One of them has a swollen belly. The pregnant woman says to the other one, "I'm expecting a baby." The other woman responds, "That's too bad. I'm expecting a bus, at least that'll help me."

- Knock knock - Who's there - James - James who ? - James Redwood.

Amy Winehouse has been sober for 2 weeks now.

what did the dog say to the cat? give me back my dog food.

Why do Iraqi women never sleep with American soldiers? Because Americans always talk about pulling out but they never do!

What did the little orphan girl get for christmas? nothing her parents are dead

What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

A hemophiliac walks into a bar. Then he dies of internal bleeding.

Tyler is a downer and is always negative to everybody

Knock Knock Who's there? Interupting cow Interu--- MOOOOOO!!

Why are fat people fat? Because they like food.

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? A comment saying "I don't think that's an anti-joke"

Microwave

A horse walks into a bar...n

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house... knock knock who's there the chicken

There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

What's just not right? Left

Lets Go Lakers!

What is the difference between a black person and an elevator? Well, there are many differences such as the fact that an elevator has a series of wiring and mechanics, while a black man, and white men alike, are human beings.

In Soviet Russia, Joke isn't funny!

Two men walk in to a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H20" The second man says "I'll have some H20, too." They both received glasses of water.

What happens when you cross an Asian with a bass guitar? An Asian man lies down diagonally across a bass guitar.

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...