What's the last thing to go through a flys head when it hits your windshield? Its ass.

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It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum... ...and I'm all out of ass but still have plenty of bubblegum to sit down and chew in a quiet and leisurely manner.

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How many dead guys does it take to build a shed? None. The contractor did it for 40 dollars an hour using maple wood.

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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I'm not gay (phrase) - A phrase commonly used by straight men.

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Q:Baby, baby, baby, oooh A:Thats what she said.

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9/11

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When life gives you lemons, you're probably at Mr. Life's fruit stand over on Imperial Avenue.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

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Why was 13 afraid of 27 Because 51 had an extra penis

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? Nickleback.

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knock, knock. come in.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Salesmen. Does this smell like chloroform to you?

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I like pom

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What did the dog say to the mailman? nothing, dogs lack the mental capacity for human speech therefore he was unable to communicate his message verbally

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What do shoes and boxes have in common Both will get squashed if a washing machine lands on one of them

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What's the difference between a bomb and a muslim? Nothing. The difference is only apparent. At the fundamental basic building blocks of the universe, everything is made up of quarks.

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So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

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Three men walk into a bar because they were all blind.

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wats green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree, it would kill u? a pool table

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Why did the black man almost go to jail? He rolled a 6 in monopoly, if it was a 7, he would've been sent straight to jail without passing "go"

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A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "why the long face?" The horse replies, "I am Sarah Jessica Parker."

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What do you call a Mexican from Cancun? A cholo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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