How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

Knock knock *runs away laughing*

you mother is so stupid that it takes her quite a while to understand jokes

What did the blonde do when she missed bus 40? She waited 30 minutes for it to come back around again.

What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? One crawling out of the bottom licking its lips.

I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah Witness.

How do you make a little girl cry? Throw a brick at her face.

Going to bed? Mind if I Slytherin?

What did the teacher say to the student? You did very poorly on your homework and will never succeed. The student was black.

What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

Wana hear something dirty? Mud

Friends are like trees. They fall down when you hit them with an ax.

Nathan Gooderson.

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because i was keeping his family at gun-point on the other side.

Did you hear about the boy who got an AM radio? It took him a month to realize that he can play it at night too.

Why was the chimp late for his flight? Because chimps arent allowed through airport security.

Why did little Johnny eat his homework? Because his family is very poor and he rarely eats.

ron:jim i cant get the toaster to work jim:dude thats a thats my car!

what is more annoying than finding a worm in your apple? An asian kid with ADHD.

Your mother is so stupid, she is unable to uphold a steady job and cannot support you financially.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...