Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the boy rolling down the hill? Cause he's stupid

thumb_up thumb_down -11

roses are red, voilets are creepy, i can beat you in call of duty

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the Homeless man get for Christmas? A dollar

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Rose are red Violets are blue And I really hate you Friends?????

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why do jews get their foreskin cut off? Because they're jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Two black guys walk into a bank They work there.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

It's Adam and Eve, not Steve and Eve!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

I asked a Jewish girl for her number, so she rolled up her sleve

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How can you tell if someone is a virgin? Everyone is a virgin in something. For example, if you never had sex with a dinosaur, then you are a virgin at dinosaur sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

GOODBYE

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between meat and fish? You can't beat your fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you make a girl scout cry? Kill her family.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats the worst part of Chemotharapy? The Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

thumb_up thumb_down -41

So there is 10 Nazis and a monkey the rest doesn't matter but i farted...

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen Property.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock. Who's there? Pizza. Pizza who? Delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Your mom is so fat, that when she went to the doctor, the doctor told her she had Type II Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Two muffins are cooling on a windowsill. One muffin says to the other "It sure is a beautiful day today." The other muffin says "Holy shit! A talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the boy collect poop? Because it was it was his dogs shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops