- Anti Joke

Whats worse than getting an eye gouged out? Getting both eyes gouged out?

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

PATHETIC

Nuclear Bombs are bad. But erections are good.......as long as they are stroked

Gay's rights

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS. AIDS is worse.

whens your birthday? July 16th What year? Every year

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: You were adopted.

What do you call a black man, an asian man, and a white man walking down the street? 3 men walking down the street.

Why did the White guy wanna be Black? He liked basketball.

You know whats funny? Things that aren't listed here.

Q.What has flashing lights and really bad dancing A.Baby haveing an eppilectic fit

Whats brown and sticky? A stick

What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

Why was the ginger walking around in bare feet? He had no sole.

Stephen Hawking

What did the one man say to the other? Nothing, they didn't know eachother

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

Q: What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A:One is fun to hit with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

Your momma's so not fat that when a school bus rolled by here house, she just sat there and turned on oprah.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops