yo momma is soo stupid when anyone says anything she say i don't understand .

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Whats similar between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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What did Jesus REAREAREAREVENAGNCEREALLY SAY when he was walkin on da waterz? And I bless this object which shalth now be known as the surfboard, Amen. Seriously, im a Christian, that sounds kinda cute in a weird way... Like aww, thats why he walked on water, not because of terrifying super powers.

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What happed to the kid who survived cancer? He got hit by a plain.

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A seal walks into a club. The poacher continues to beat the seal to death.

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What the difference between a black man and a pizza? A black man is capable of feeding a family. A pizza is capable of feeding an American.

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Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

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What do you do when jews take over your country? Invade Poland.

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pubic lice.

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Puns are terrible. I love them.

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What is the difference between an Irishman and a plank of wood? Almost everything, including anatomy, chemical make up, mass etc

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I went seal clubbing the other day but as I was the only one with legs, the dancefloor was quite lonely

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Sometimes I fantasize about having sexual relations with Oprah Winfrey. Sometimes I don't.

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Ask me if I'm an orange? Are you an orange? No.

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A girl and her family were walking by a cliff. Suddenly - due to a a part of the cliff falling away - her family fell over the edge and died. The girl ran to the bottom of the cliff and saw her family's body's strewn across the rocks, blood everywhere. She didn't have a phone on her and so could not call the police. She called over a man she saw in the distance. He asked "What's happened?". Just managing to stammer the words through her tears she said "My entire family fell off a cliff and died". The man unzipped his trousers and said "This really isn't your day is it love?"

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three gay men were sitting in a hottub. a condom floats to the surface. why the hell were you watching them?

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What is a gremlin's favorite snack? Gremlins aren't real.

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Why did Steve Jobs step down as CEO of Apple? Because he died.

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What happened to the man that never got picked up? He died of a brain aneurysm, the ambulance never came.

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What sits in a corner and travels all the way around the world? A stoner on hallucinogens.

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What has a fiery tail and is mentally handicapped? Charetard.

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A man dressed in a business suit goes into a doctor's office. He asks the receptionist how much a vasectomy would cost. After a minute of her looking it up on the computer she turns to him and says "The procedure will cost $750." He then thanks her and leaves.

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John Katzenbach were drinking a soda... He is the author of The Psicoanalist

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Why couldn't the man lick his elbows? Because it is scientifically proven that over 98% of humans can not lick their elbows.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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