3 men walk into a bar. The 4th one ducks.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because she had been forcibly removed from her place of food preparation by a large angry mob of her neighbours who thought she was a wtitch and were now going to burn at the stake. It is Salem, november 1643.

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what happened to the man who is standing in the rain? he got wet

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why did javonne choose club getaway madonna wanted to foster

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What do you call a man who's arms have been amputated? It doesn't matter, he won't be able to pick up the phone.

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Why does Michael Jackson like K-mart? He does not; he is dead.

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Why did Little Jimmy cross the road? Little Jimmy doesnt have arms and legs, silly, he cant cross the road.

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Hah, I bet a faggot that lost his balls in the war is "above" such things as seduction and all things straight! 25 million US dollars, send them to me within a week, or I will hunt you down by tracking down every single one of your fucking followers (all six of them), and make you wish you where dead. And tell me where you live, send me your sister so I can rape her, send me your boyfriend so I can cut him to pieces, send my your children so I can make sure your genes stop, send my your mothers tits so I can hang them on my wall, and kill your father and post the shit on youtube! Maybe then we are halfway close a settlement.

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What do you call an attractive woman in a blender? A very rare occurrence.

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Why was Eight in court? He was involved in Nine's horrifying disappearance.

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whats your name whats the color of the sky whats the oppisite of down

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a pedophile.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because skeletons cannot live on their own and there is no such thing as a skeleton that can walk across roads without muscles.

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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Why did people run from the chicken? Because they didnt want to get bit by the chicken

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Why did the black guy walk into the supermarket and buy 100 bananas? Because he works at the zoo you racist!

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A gorilla walks into the DMV to apply for a drivers license. Turns out it was just some guy in a gorilla suit doing a prank. Everybody instantly realized this at the time since gorillas aren't indigenous to the local area. They guy responsible was charged with a small fine for public mischief.

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Whats worse than bad sex. Being nice raped in the anus by a teletubby.

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Guy 1: Hey, did you hear about this blind guy who went bungee jumping off a bridge? Guy 2: No, what happened? Guy 1: He couldn't see Jack!

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin after being attacked by a man with a mace.

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What's that smell? Your feces droping in the toilet

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What's the difference between a ferrari and a sack of babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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Why isn't Juley at school today? Oh Her father chopped off her arms and legs, gagged her, ripped out both eyes and threw her in a lake tied to cinderblocks!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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