What do you do when you come to a fork in the road? You take it

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do humans and fish both have in common? They both live underwater, apart from humans.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two birds were sitting on a perch, one turned and said to the other, "Do you smell fish?"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he suffered severe blood loss and is most likely dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whate white and cant climb trees? powdered sugar

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Do you know what it looks like when you put a cat in the microwave for 3 minutes? I don't know either because I close my eyes when I masturbate.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats worse than getting raped by a monkey The fact that you actually got raped by a monkey

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a black man in an expensive car? A licensed driver.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: Why did the kid cross the playground? A: To get to the other slide

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What do you get when you cross an intersection? Possibly a lower leg contussion, ACL tear, breaks in 4 different sections of your arm and lots of brain swelling if you are hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why couldnt the mexican jump the fence? He broke his leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the gay man sneek out of the brothel? Because he was ashamed of his well paying reception job

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A duck walks into a doctor's office. Quack.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

How do you silence Justin Bieber? Hold his head under water until he stops struggling.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A: Hey ask me if Im a fire truck? B: Are you a Fire Truck? A: No why would you ask that?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

boy1: whats blue and goes blub blub? boy2:i dont know boy1:a blue blub blub boy1: whats green and goes blub blub? boy2:a green blub blub boy1:no. there is no such thing called a green blub blub

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why is Easter better than christmas? Theres a significantly less chance of getting raped by a man in a Santa Claus costume.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock knock Whos there? Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior jesus christ?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Yo mama is so fat, she needs to get serious about her diet, or else she might die of some sort of weight related issue.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what is red and smells like paint red paint

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the boy fail his midterm? he didnt study.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is a cow's favorite drink? Well, I could be wrong and this is just my opinion, but I do not believe that animals experience feelings and, in corollary, favoritism towards anything, particularly regarding basic survival needs, such as hydration.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all fall on a small boy below, putting him into a 20-year coma.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops