Your mom went to college

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what did the mushroom say to the other mushroom? nothing, mushrooms can't talk

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Whats better than finding a hot girl in your room? nothing

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you and then wash my hands directly after because boogers are gross

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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Guess what?..... I once saw a black man who had a job that wasnt on work release........

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The fitting room is a lie. Nothing fit me at all.

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-if you're American in the kitchen, British in the living room, what are you in the bathroom? -in the bathroom.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Your husband died.

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Q: What did the newborn dumpster baby say to the raccoon? A: Nothing. Newborn babies cannot talk.

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Why is the light always red? Because the city has been in an economic depression and does not have the money to fix the traffic light's.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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Why did the asian driver crash his car? Because he was driving while intoxicated.

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What's black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

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Your mom is so dumb that she doesn't get this joke

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What did the dog say when the woman put a sweater on him? Nothing, dogs can't talk and he has no idea what is going on

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How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge? It's completely destroyed.

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you know your just like my pinkie toe........eventually i am going to bang you on a table

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A man walked into a pub, and enjoys of a couple off pints. Some time later he loudly asks the gentleman next to him: Do you know about this thing called Fightclub?... The bartender had to call an ambulance, you don't talk about fightclub

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knock knock Who's there? Someone who wants to save you from the shitty dinner your lazy wife made.

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Why are you so fat? Cause I eat a lot.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.

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What did Jack give Jill for Christmas? Herpes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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