i keep getting thumbs down...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whats worse than the Holocaust? Anal

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A priest, a nun, and a rabbi walk into a bar. There's a massive earthquake and the bar collapses to the ground, killing everyone inside.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a pregnant girl? Your Ex

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you make Sasuke cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down

the man walked into the bar and said ur gay

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock, knock. *answers door*

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Ian die Because I shot him with a gun

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did the chicken cross the road? -----it didnt

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A jew go out of a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the German say to the Jew? Sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is your bill about? Clinton

thumb_up thumb_down -10

a dad farts in the woods nothing else happens

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A psychotic man steals a Police Officer's handgun, the man runs down the street. What happened? He fell in a hole and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between a microwave and hamster? They're both furry except for the microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Need therapy? No you do not, just follow these steps. When someone feels suicidal, I ask them, so what would you do and feel when you are dead? People: First I think ill just chill like this, and then everything would be empty and no more noise like this here "holds hands over ears", and it would all just be black and nice afterwards.... Me: Stay in that state for a while. Human: Gee I am starting to feel better... Me: GEE YOU SUCK KILL YOURSELF NOW! 2. How to CURE PERMANENTLY (not treat over 30 years with no effect) someone that cant say no... First I let my victim enter the room, then I shut the door and shout "SAY NO TO ME YOU FUCKlNG WH000RE!" Victim: NOOOOOOO I CANT! Cured, stop wasting my fucking time NEXT 3. SUUUUUUUURE! Me: So you feel uncertain? Patient: Uh yeah... Me: Are you certain about that? Patient: You are just certain about you being certain which is not possible because you are uncertain NOW DIE! PROTIP: Death is the cure to all disease... NOOOOOOOT! (Postmortem disease no?) 4. I forgot this example. Anyway, I say something smart, you give me thumbs down because you are jelly, and then I eat you and I had some jelly.... I master nonsense, I am the jack of no trades and master of all.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

My cousins so stupid she makes straight A's

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why does a trash can smell bad? Because there's trash in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you call a fat man in a tiny pipe? Stuck.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock Knock Who's there? Just open the damn door.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's the difference between a Jew and a Paki? Nothing, they're both as bad as each other.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops