A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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why does little Lucy have no friends? because she is in a wheelchair

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Q: What do you get when you put an ice cube, a grasshopper, a cell phone battery, and a human finger in a freezer? A: A very strange mix of objects indeed.

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whats green and has wheels grass and i lied about the wheels

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Why was the black guy running away with a sack full of money? He was rushing to local charity to donate the money. It was closing in 2 minutes.

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Why did the Jew go to prison. He slaughtered his family.

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Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

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What did little John get from reading this. Wait and you will see that the person who you were asking the question will give you a series of awkward faces until they lose interest.

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why did the boy named rylie white get aids Because he had unprotected sex with someone with aids.

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Whats the difference beetween a pilgrim and a jack-o-lantern? Jack-o-lanters didn't discover america.

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was a crybaby

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Why did George smoke weed? Because he was depressed after his wife died and couldn't get over the fact that he would be lonely forevermore.

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What did the boy say when he could'nt find his dog? I wonder where Spot went.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: Nobody cares because its a chicken

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What's funnier then this joke? Women's rights.

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Whats big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? A Fridge.

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What bug has eight legs? Not a spider.

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven has an extra penis.

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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Why didn't the 34 year old woman fit into some size 14 jeans? Because she was size 16.

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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