What do get when you cross a lion and tiger? A liger. This hybrid mammal, only observed in captivity, is the largest of all known felines and is thought to be sterile.

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People could crack eggs but Chuck Norris could crack chickens.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender says, "Why the long face?" and the horse says, "I have cancer."

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A man walks into a bar

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*prepares this to get negative votes*

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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What did the giraffe say to the walrus? Nothing. Giraffes can't talk. What did the Scotsman say to the walrus? Nothing. Scotsmen can't talk.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies nailed to one tree? 10 living babies nailed to one tree

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What did the mother say when the train hit her? Bad train! We don't hit!

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Why couldn't Timmy go to the bathroom? He was constipated.

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A grasshopper hops into a bar and orders a drink. "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" exclaims the bartender. "You have a Melanoplus Differentialis?" asks the grasshopper. "Yes."

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what's the difference between babies and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

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How do you act when you discover that the 'Submit' button doesn't work? Wait for a while until the problem fixes itself and you are able to perform the desired function.

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What is the difference between jam and jelly? Jam has chunks of fruit, jelly does not.

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What did the Catholic priest say after he fell off a cliff? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Q: What is worse than a dead baby in a trashcan? A: A dead baby in 10 trashcans.

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I walked across a lake once. Someone said "JESUS CHRIST!" to which I replied with "YES?"

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What did God say when he made his first black guy? Oh no I burned one! :)

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What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

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whats young and never moved? still born baby

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What happened to the boy after he ate a piece of Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

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FUCK YOU SAY FUCK YOU SAY SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH THATS WHAT I FUCKING SAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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How many dead children can you fit in a garbage can? Give me a knife and i will find out

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Q: Why did the black man shit himself? A: He experienced post-mortem bowel release after he was murdered due to his racial identification.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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